back to work

Well, my maternity leave is officially over, though I'm not exactly rushing back to work. I had to resign from my part time position at Children's due to Drew's schedule conflicting with mine, though I was able to stay on in a "flex" position, which means that I'm not guaranteed any hours. My supervisor warned me that they are attempting to cut people's hours and that she wasn't optimistic in regards to giving me very many. So far, this seems to be true. I worked a 4 hour shift last week and am currently in the midst of an 8 hour shift. This amount of hours is not going to cover our bills, so I'm looking for other part time or flex positions elsewhere (but would still definitely stay at Children's as well), but I think it may be time for Drew to pick up some slack and either request over time or look for another job as well. Heck, I worked 2 jobs for 3 years to make ends meet, now it's his turn, right?
I just got a text from Drew (it's 4am) saying that Summit didn't take his bottle. This is why I hate being away from him. He hasn't eaten since I fed him at 9:30 right before I came in and I know he's got to be hungry. Of course he prefers the breast, but he needs to eat and I just know that I am going to spend the next 3 hours worrying about him and wondering if he's screaming with hunger pains. And much less important, I hate for all that breastmilk to go to waste.
I just wish I could win the lottery so that I could stay home with him until he was about a year old, then I'd gladly go back to work.