Sage, Sienna and Summit's World

7 months old

2012-01-21T11:56:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving

2012-01-20T13:09:00.000-08:00

I had one of the best Thanksgivings in as long as I can remember, mostly because we got to go to Florida and spend it with my family.

Little munchkin, who was pretty miserably sick the whole time...

the girls with their cousin Annaliese...

Sienna and Annaliese are exactly 9 months apart SO cute together...

Summit with his Grammy (my stepmom)...

a few of the people at the Thanksgiving meal. There were probably at least 30 of us, which is so different (and SO much better) than the normal 4 (and now 5)...

Sienna with Aunt Krista...

Summit with Grandpop (my dad)...

with Grandma and Grandpa Paul (my mom and stepdad)...

at the beach for the first time ever...

loving it! (thought it was a bit chilly)...

watching the UF/FSU game...

My sis, her husband Terry, and baby TJ (who is 6 weeks older than Summit)...

the girls pretending to be models...

photo shoot...

more modeling...

the boys. They are going to best of friends!...

too cute!...

they were definitely done taking photos by this time...

I miss my family SO MUCH!

4 months

2012-01-20T12:46:00.000-08:00

6months

2011-11-18T06:52:00.001-08:00

not in the mood to smile...

about to sneeze...

ah-choo...

thinking about smiling...

as close to a smile as he's going to give...

Sage's 7th birthday

2011-09-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

She had her birthday party where she takes gymnastics and had a great time with all of her good friends.

On her actual 7th Birthday. Such a pretty girl:

She learned to ride a two wheeler this summer and had out-grown her other bike, she got a "big-girl" bike for her birthday:

10 years....

2011-09-11T19:25:00.001-07:00

I'll always remember. I'll never forget. I'll always be grateful for those who continue to serve, to protect, to fight.

I took this day, on the 10 year anniversary of 9-11, to finally bring it up to Sage. She asked a lot of questions, some very difficult for me to answer. We hugged and we cried together. We cried for those that were lost. For the fact that some people are so "mean" in the world that they would purposely hurt another human being. For the fact that we continue to lose brave men and women over it. I cried also because I knew I was taking a little bit of her innocence away from her. It's another day I'll never forget.

First Day of Preschool

2011-09-06T13:01:00.001-07:00

AHHHHH, how is she old enough to be starting school? Granted, it's pre-school and she'll has two more years before starting kindergarten, but still. I think it will be so good for her to meet some friends of her own, learn to take directions from someone other than mommy and daddy, and to get away from her baby brother for a little while. She's only going to school 2 days a week for 2 hours each day, so I think it will be a nice transition into what the future holds.

First Day of Second Grade

2011-08-19T18:12:00.001-07:00

I can't believe Sage is going into the second grade and almost 7 years old. She's turned into such a fun, sassy, little, ugh I mean big girl!

3 months!

2011-08-17T11:55:00.000-07:00

back to work

2011-08-13T02:59:00.000-07:00

Well, my maternity leave is officially over, though I'm not exactly rushing back to work. I had to resign from my part time position at Children's due to Drew's schedule conflicting with mine, though I was able to stay on in a "flex" position, which means that I'm not guaranteed any hours. My supervisor warned me that they are attempting to cut people's hours and that she wasn't optimistic in regards to giving me very many. So far, this seems to be true. I worked a 4 hour shift last week and am currently in the midst of an 8 hour shift. This amount of hours is not going to cover our bills, so I'm looking for other part time or flex positions elsewhere (but would still definitely stay at Children's as well), but I think it may be time for Drew to pick up some slack and either request over time or look for another job as well. Heck, I worked 2 jobs for 3 years to make ends meet, now it's his turn, right?
I just got a text from Drew (it's 4am) saying that Summit didn't take his bottle. This is why I hate being away from him. He hasn't eaten since I fed him at 9:30 right before I came in and I know he's got to be hungry. Of course he prefers the breast, but he needs to eat and I just know that I am going to spend the next 3 hours worrying about him and wondering if he's screaming with hunger pains. And much less important, I hate for all that breastmilk to go to waste.
I just wish I could win the lottery so that I could stay home with him until he was about a year old, then I'd gladly go back to work.

2 months old

2011-07-17T19:54:00.001-07:00

Summit weighs 13 pounds, 9 ounces (90 %), is 24 inches long (80%) and his head is 16 3/8 (80%). We got a big ole baby!!!!

Fourth of July

2011-07-04T10:25:00.000-07:00

We had a very low key day, by going to the lake for a little while but mostly just playing in the backyard and enjoying each other's company:

Poor Sage

2011-06-30T13:29:00.000-07:00

She has an infection in her molar (the one that was capped) and has to have it extracted. They're going to put under sedation by using three heavy duty drugs: Demerol, Versed, and some other narcotic that I can't currently remember. The Demerol is for pain, the Versed to (hopefully) make it so she doesn't remember the incident, and the other drug to have a sedation affect. Due to her past reaction at Children's, it's likely that she will again fight by screaming yelling and kicking. While she won't remember the event, I definitely will, and I am not looking forward to it AT ALL. They don't have any openings until 8/18 which happens to be her first day of school, which I refuse to make her miss. So, on 8/22 we'll be going in to have the procedure done, unless they have a cancellation, then we'll do it sooner. I think I'm more anxious than she is.

1 month

2011-06-21T11:50:00.001-07:00

Things are going great with the baby. He is such a chill little dude. Of course, after having 2 extremely colicky little girls, anything would be better. But seriously, it's so nice not to have to hold him 24/7. I can put him down on his play mat, in the swing, in his crib, or basically anywhere else, and he's perfectly content. Half the time he'll end up falling asleep, which was unheard of with the girls. He hardly ever cries, only when he's really hungry. He doesn't fuss during dinner. Can you believe that? We can actually put him in his swing while the rest of us eat a hot meal! While of course he doesn't sleep through the night, he only wakes to eat (every 2-3 hours) and then goes right back to sleep. He's a chunky little guy. At his 2 week appt he weighed 9 pounds and the pediatrician said "well, we definitely don't have to worry about his weight." I feel so lucky to have a happy, healthy little baby. After what I went through while he was in utero, and not knowing his future, I make a point to remind myself every single day how fortunate I am and how special he is.

Baby Summit's Birth Story

2011-05-29T08:39:00.001-07:00

Summit was born on his due date, 5/17/11 at 12:47am. I went in on the afternoon of the 16th for my 40 week appt which began like all my other appt:, with an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid, his breathing, his size, etc. His amniotic fluid level had dropped from 18 to 9 in one week, and while I don't know much about what level is normal, I did know that that was not good. The baby also wasn't cooperating with the tech as far as showing how well he could breath, so she escorted me out and told the Dr "she's going to need the NST".

Usually the nurse would come in and get my blood pressure and the Dr would check me for progress before the 20 minute NST, but for some reason this time the Dr had me go directly for the NST. I wasn't too concerned, I just figured she was a little busy and it would be easier this way. But, when she came in the room after only 10 minutes of monitoring, I knew something wasn't right. She said "I've been monitoring you from down the hall, and I don't like what I'm seeing. I think we need to get you over to labor and delivery for more monitoring. I'll meet you over there." I asked if I could go home and get the bags and she said no. Of course, the tears immediately started flowing and I began to freak out with worry. She said something about his heart rate staying consistently low and not increasing and decreasing with contractions. I knew from watching the machines that his heart rate was consistently at about 115, and that 120 was the low side of normal.

So, we got to l&d and Dr Roos was already there. Did I mention that it was a full moon? Yeah, the unit was packed with patients having babies. Anyway, we got there around 5:30pm and hung out in the room for what seemed like forever. Finally, Dr Roos came in and said that the nurses were all busy so she would just hook me up to the monitors herself because she wanted to see how the baby was doing. Just then, a nurse came in and said she would do it. First she checked my blood pressure, which was sky high because I was scared to death. This was a new nurse (seriously, it was her first day at this hospital) and she immediately started telling me all about preeclampsia and how I suddenly had it because of my high blood pressure. She volunteered to put in my IV and tried two different, very painful veins, unsuccessfully. "See, that's because you have preeclampsia. It makes your veins hard to access." (Dr Roos later confirmed that I didn't have preeclampsia, but that it was simply me being scared and anxious that caused such a rise in my blood pressure). Thankfully, they had a change of shift and at 7pm and a very experienced nurse was assigned to us. She came in and got access to a vein with no problem and very little pain. She would be our nurse throughout the night and was nothing short of a miracle. Seriously, she was great.

So my labs all came back normal, and the baby began to perk up on the monitoring. Dr Roos came in a while later, probably 7:30 or so and said while she is happy with the change in the baby's heart rate, she wants me to deliver the baby, since "we know he's healthy now and we don't want that to change." I cried some more. This isn't how I had planned things. I was supposed to have a 100% natural, spontaneous labor and delivery, with as little medical intervention as possible. I never even fathomed having to be induced.

The nurse came back in and we went over my birth plan. She said that we could still accomplish 99% percent of it. She would recommend to Dr Roos that she break my water as opposed to using pitocin. That would mean that I could still get up and walk around, use the tub, etc. So, at 8:00, Dr Roos broke my water, which was very weird to say the least. (My water didn't break with the girls until I was pushing). At this point, I was still only at 3 cm.

From there, we walked and walked and walked. At about 10:00pm, the nurse came back into check me and I was only at 4 1/2 cm. The contractions were getting regular, about 3 minutes apart and much more uncomfortable. We walked some more. She came in at 11:00 to put me on monitors that checked the baby's heart rate, which was fine. At about 11:30, she checked me again and I was at 6cm with the contractions 2 minutes apart and extremely painful. I then got into the tub for about 45 minutes until it was time to check the baby's heart rate again. A little after midnight, I got out of the tub and was checked again, this time I was at an 8. Then, the real pain began, the kind that makes you vomit and wish you were dead...but then it keeps getting worse and worse. At about 12:30 or so, I told Drew that I needed to push and so he called the nurse. She came in and took a look, immediately saying, "don't push" and went to get the Dr. Yeah right, at that point you can't NOT push. So Dr Roos comes in and puts on her gloves and tells me to push whenever I wanted. I remember giving several lame attempts at pushing and saying repeatedly: "I can't do this. It hurts too bad. I can't. I just can't." But then something took over my body and on the next contraction, I grabbed the rails and pushed as hard as I could. By the end of that contraction, little Summit had entered the world and I immediately started crying with joy. He was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

He weighed 7 pounds 8 ounces and was 21 inches long. His umbilical cord was in a very tight knot which could have caused his heart rate to be so low the day before. Because he was so healthy, wasn't circumsized, and because I didn't have any medications or any complications what so ever, they agreed to let us leave later that night so that I could be at home in my own bed with my two beautiful big girls.

fresh from the womb:

and onto mama's chest:

so snuggly:

holding onto my fingers:

getting weighed (7pounds, 8ounces; 21 inches)

Sage and Sienna meet their baby brother for the first time:

going home (20 hours after birth):

Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-08T18:18:00.000-07:00

decorating mommy's tummy:

all decorated:

38 weeks pregnant:

Happy Easter

2011-04-24T03:58:00.001-07:00

baby boy update

2011-03-27T20:20:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I never posted an update on the baby after my repeat level II ultrasound on March 1st. But, to cut straight to the chase, his brain is all clear of cysts. The Dr was very happy with the results, but of course, not nearly as happy and relieved as I am. The ultrasound also showed that his growth is perfect, he was in the 54th percentile for weight, he was breech (but by OB thinks he has since turned), and all other organs, systems, amniotic fluid, are just fine.

I've been trying to savor every moment of this pregnanty, since it very well may be my last. though I'm definitely getting bigger and more uncomfortable (I'm almost 33 weeks), I'm doing my best to focus on the positive, like the sweet little kicks in the ribs, the hiccups, the foot sticking straight out of my stomach, etc.

I've always thought the excitement of having a second, and now third baby, is compounded by the joy of going through it witha 3 year old. Sienna is just so enthralled and mesmerized by the baby. She is constantly rubbing my belly, giving the baby kisses, covering him with a blanket, coming up with names (like poo-poo or pee-pee albiet), giving him gifts, etc. Sage was the same way when I was pregnant with Sienna, and it just warms my heart to see the love they have for their sibling before he/she even arrives.

Happy Third Birthday Sienna

2011-02-25T18:05:00.001-08:00

excited to be the birthday girl:

in her new princess bed:

looking pretty:

with mama:

at monkey business:

doing some art work at monkey business:

eating lunch at Casa Bonita:

cake time:

princess cake, of course:

with Sage and grandma:

belated valentines day

2011-02-20T02:48:00.001-08:00

another week

2011-02-05T21:31:00.000-08:00

This one was almost as exciting as last weeks, only not quite so negative. Sunday was horrific at work. I basically worked for 12 hours without a break. Almost all my cases were complicated, by either social services, difficult parents, violent outbursts or just emotional stories. The highlight of my night came when I walked into the office in between cases and the wonderful nurse had bought a huge plate of jalapeno poppers, fries, and chicken fingers saying "we were getting worried. We haven't seen you eat." So sweet, and so yummy!
Monday was pretty uneventful, though after school Sage's eyes seemed to be a little red and then suddenly started producing a green gunk. I called the pediatrician on Tuesday and they started her on her first-ever dose of antibiotic, though in the form of eye drops. The verdict was that she had conjunctivitis. Of course, being Sage, she freaked out with the new experience of having drops in her eyes, though by the second dose, she was a pro.
By Thursday, Sienna's left eye was producing the same discharge, though the Dr didn't want to just call in a prescription for her, in case it was an ear infection. So, Friday morning we went into the pediatrician and she was diagnosed with, surprise, surprise, conjunctivitis, and no ear infection. So, we got the same drops for her that Sage has, which made her very happy since all week she had been asking for drops in her eyes like her sister.
In between the pink eye, we had an extreme cold front come through. The temperatures on Monday night into Tuesday and even Wednesday morning were in the negatives. I think the coldest it got was -14. Sage's school was cancelled on Tuesday and Wednesday and she already had Thursday and Friday scheduled off due to a conference all the elementary teachers were attending. We were thrilled with the timing, because she would have had to take Tuesday off due to the pink eye, but she didn't, so she still has perfect attendance.
The only other eventful thing going on around the house, is that we have some sort of critter(s) living in the walls of the downstairs, mainly in the master bedroom. It comes and goes and will be gone for days at a time, to the point where we think whatever it is either died or left the house for good. But, after hearing it scurry around today while I was trying to nap, I've decided that we are having pest control come out on Tuesday, no matter what. My only concern is that they are going to have to cut a hole in the dry wall just to get access to it. Well, that, and that my house is infested with some sort of human eating monster that it going to attack me while I'm asleep.

tooth #2

2011-01-31T04:18:00.001-08:00

It's really weird to be counting teeth coming out, as up until now, I've always documented them as they came in.

what a week

2011-01-29T21:18:00.000-08:00

So on Sunday I came down with some horrific stomach virus, or food poisoning or something. I have never felt so awful in my life. I spent hours in the bathroom and felt like death. Getting sick like that, is 10 times worse when pregnant. The girls were so sweet though. I don't think they've ever seen me vomit. Sienna immediately came in to the bathroom and was stroking my hair, saying "it's okay mommy." Drew got her out rather quickly. Sage, on the other hand, after coming into the bathroom briefly, ran into her room and was crying. When I was able to check on her, she had written me a note saying something like "I hope you feel better mommy. You are really worrying me. I feel like this (with a sad face) but want to feel like this (with a happy face). I love you mommy." I love my girls. They even took it easy on me for the next 2 days while I recovered, meaning they allowed me to lay on the couch instead of sitting on the floor while playing with them.

When I went to the OB on Tuesday for my 24 week check up, the doc knew something was wrong when she saw my urine and said "oh, my gosh, your urine looks horrible." She wasn't too worried about dehydration since the worst had passed but she definitely felt bad for me. The baby looks good though-is measuring 2 weeks ahead, his heartrate was 153 beats per minute, my blood pressure and weight is good, etc, etc. I go back in 4 weeks and at that point will get by glucose tested, and then I start appts every 2 weeks!

Back to Monday. While I was napping, Drew picked Sage up from school. I heard Sage screaming bloody murder in her room and so ran upstairs expecting to see blood or a broken bone or something. She was crying so hard that she couldn't calm down. After about 30 minutes, she was able to calm down and tell me that she got a "Choice Card" at school. A choice card is what the kids get when they make the wrong choice and the teacher wants to notify the parents so it can be discussed at home. Sage's teacher makes it abundantly clear to the kids (and to the parents) from the beginning of the year, that she wants all the kids to receive one at some point, as it's a great learning experience, and it's nothing that they did horribly wrong nor does it mean that they are a bad person. Sage, being the overachieving, perfectionist that she is, has always been fearful of receiving one, even though someone gets one each and every day. So, anyway, Sage finally tells me that she and 3 or 4 of her good friends (all kids that don't get ever get in trouble) were being loud in the bathroom at recess and another teacher had to come tell them to quiet down, so when their regular teacher heard this, she gave all the girls a choice card. We had a teacher/parent conference on Thursday and Sage's teacher explained that she thought this was the perfect scenario for this group of girls to get a choice card and hopefully learn a thing or two. Sage was fine after she expressed her disappointment in herself, and though I felt bad for her at the time, I'm glad it happened the way it did. (More about the conference in a minute).

So Wednesday was a big day too, as Sage lost her very first tooth and the tooth fairy came to visit. She has another tooth that is about to fall out as well.

Okay, so back to the conference which was Thursday after school. Sage's teacher had only good things to discuss. We went over her grades which are all in the 90's, her reading level which is well into the second grade, and most importantly her sensitivity. Her teacher feels that she has made great strides in her ability to handle difficult situations and doesn't consider it a problem anymore. She even gave Sage 2 stickers for handling the Choice Card so well, as several months ago, she surely would have broken down in tears in class. It was funny, because her teacher said "How's Sienna? Because Sage is such a perfect child, you can't be lucky enough to have another one that's perfect." Nope, Sienna is the absolute opposite from Sage (though perfect in her own way of course). But, what a compliment. Perfect? Wow!

The rest of the week was pretty standard-Sienna's ballet on Wednesday morning, Sage's ballet/tap on Friday night. Slumber party with Sage on Friday night. Birthday party on Saturday. But then, we get home and Sage has a fever up to 101.8 and feels really weak. Hopefully she feels better by tomorrow and next week is a little less eventful.

Finally!

2011-01-26T12:52:00.000-08:00

Sage lost her very first tooth last night! It's been hanging on by a thread for a while now, but it finally just fell out while she was reading in her bed. She was prepared for the blood and didn't shed a tear. She was so excited as she came running out of her room "Mommy, mommy, look, look, my tooth fell out!!" Since she's the youngest kid in her class, she is the last to lose a tooth, so she's been anxiously awaiting this day for quite a long time!

Oh, and she didn't want the tooth fairy to take her first tooth, she wrote a note saying "Please don't take my tooth". Then she said, "I want to write a note saying 'Can I please see what you look like?'"

First real haircut and first tap lesson

2011-01-21T11:55:00.001-08:00

Sienna got her very first professional haircut last weekend. As you can see, she did great and loved the experience, especially since she got to watch a Barbie movie while having it done. She wants her hair "long, like a princess" so it took a little convincing to have it cut. And we obviously didn't have any drastic amount taken off since she wants it long.

And, Sage has added tap dancing to her repertoire. She's taking a class that is half ballet/half tap so she's a little more enthusiastic as I think she was getting a little bored with just the ballet. I think she's pretty good though!

more conversations about the baby

2011-01-17T04:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Sage and I were looking at photos of when Sienna was born. Her first question, was "but why do they come out naked?" Umm, dear, what do you think they're going to being wearing.

Her second question was a little more difficult: "But how do they come out?" Remember we talked about contractions and how the mommy's body pushes the baby out?
"Oh, yeah, but WHERE does it come out?" Well, umm, it comes out of the mommy's body.
"I know, but WHERE on the mommy's body does it come out?" So, I finally stopped dodging the question and told her exactly where they baby comes out. She thought for a moment and simply said "oh, okay." Well, that was easier than I thought and at least she didn't want to know specifically how the baby got in there.

A few days ago, Sienna and I were in the ladies room at a restuarant and I quietly said out loud "wow, looks my belly button is starting to pop out." She responds in her not so quiet voice, "Your baby pop out NOW?" No, sweetie, not for a little while.

A while back, after eating dinner with the girls at a restaurant I said something to the effect of "oh my gosh, I'm stuffed. I think I'm going to explode." Sage looked at me all serious-like and said "Don't worry, I'll catch the baby."

a convo with my 2 year old

2011-01-07T13:15:00.000-08:00

This morning Sienna was looking at an outfit for her soon-to-be cousin and this is the long, rambley conversation that ensued:

Sienna: This for your baby?

Me: No, this is for Aunt Krista's new baby.

Sienna: Oh, THIS for your baby?

Me: Yep, that's for our baby.

Sienna: Your baby. Not mine. My baby girl (she thinks she has a baby in her belly).

Me: Well, the baby in my belly is yours too. I'm going to share him with you.

Sienna: Okay.

Me: Are you going to help with the baby?

Sienna: yep.

Me: What are you going to do if he cries?

Sienna: Get him pants.

Me: oh, in case he's cold? That's very nice. What are you going to do if he still cries?

Sienna: Get him pants.

Me: But what if he's crying because he's hungry?

Sienna: Oh, give him boobie.

Me: Yeah, he might want to drink some of mommy's milk. And what if he's still crying?

Sienna: Give him other boobie.

Me: Yeah, he might still be hungry. And if he's still crying?

Sienna: Give him other boobie again.

Me: Oh, but he might need something else. Can you think of anything else he might need?

Sienna: No, he just need boobie.

So, I guess I've prepared her enough for the breastfeeding. Now, we need to work on other reasons why a baby might cry.

results of the Level II ultrasound

2011-01-04T16:59:00.001-08:00

So I went in this morning and had my level II ultrasound with a Perinatologist. One of the first things he said was "I think this all much ado about nothing." He went on to explain that multiple bilateral choroid plexus cysts can be a marker for Trisomy 18, a very devastating genetic disorder with a very poor prognosis. He said that 1% of babies with CPC's will have Trisomy 18, though they almost always have other birth defects such as heart problems, rocker feet, clenched hands, etc.

So, anyway, 2 of the 3 cysts on my baby's brain are no longer there, though 1 obviously is. He looked closely at the bowels and showed me how they weren't as bright as bone, and therefore it is not considered a marker. He looked closely at the babies hands, feet, heart, legs, etc, etc, etc and said that there is absolutely nothing else wrong my baby. He's hopeful that the other cyst will disappear by the time he sees me again in 8 weeks. Of course, I won't know for sure if my baby is 100% healthy until he is born. And until then, my heart will remain cracked, though at least it's no longer broken.

The big ultrasound

2010-12-29T06:52:00.001-08:00

So I went in for my big 20 week ultrasound (though at 19.1 weeks along) on 12/22. Drew and the girls came with. The sonographer/tech said the whole test would take about 45 minutes and she would get to the sex of the baby rather quickly. She asked the girls what they thought it was and Sienna said "boy" and Sage said "girl". She looked at Sienna and said "you're right, it's a boy." My eyes filled with tears and my heart smiled. I looked at the girls and they both had huge grins on their faces. Drew was obviously delighted. Sienna got a little antsy after that so I told Drew to take them to get something to eat and walk around for a bit, since the rest of the ultrasound wouldn't be too exciting.

I laid there for another 30 minutes or so while she looked at the organs, the toes, fingers, measured the head, etc, etc. She was almost done when the computer screen went black and she cursed under her breath. She tried and tried to get it to reload with no success. She tried to view the images she had just taken, with no success. She had me wait in the waiting room while she continued to work on the machine. I was scheduled to see the Dr right after the ultrasound, so regardless of whether she could fix the machine or not, I would still meet with the Dr.

I sat in the waiting room by myself, day dreaming of my little boy, how perfect and sweet he is.

The nurse called me back about 10 minutes later and weighed me, took my blood pressure, etc. The Dr came in and apologized for the computer crashing, saying they weren't able to fix it or save the images they had already taken, so I would have to come back another day and start all over. I remember saying "that's okay, at least we found out the sex." She then looked me in the eyes and said "I have to tell you something. The tech saw choroid plexus cysts on the baby's brain, which are considered soft markers for Downs Syndrome." I stared at her for what seemed like an eternity, in complete shock, then just started crying and crying. The Dr apologized, saying "I'm sorry, but I had to tell you." I have no clue what she told me after that, other than to refer me to get a level II ultrasound with a Perinatologist the following day.

At this point, I was completely devastated, my world was turned upside down. What was supposed to be one of the happiest moments in my pregnancy, just turned into the saddest. I swear, I literally felt my heart break into two. I couldn't talk to anyone about it that night. I couldn't share the news with family because the second I opened my mouth to speak, tears flooded from my eyes, and I didn't want the girls to see me like that.

After calling my current insurance, the perinatologist's office, and the insurance that I will have as of Janurary 1st, I decided to cancel my level II for the time being (it saved me about $500 to wait 1.5 weeks), and return to my regular OB the following day to redue the entire ultrasound.

The tech/sonographer asked what my Dr had told me the previous day and I told her all that I knew: that cysts were seen on my baby's brain. The tech said "yeah, that, plus I noticed that his bowels were a little brighter than normal. That is also a soft marker for Down's Syndrome." She hadn't gotten to the heart the day before, which was obviously a big concern since a lot of people with Downs have heart conditions. So, she did all her measurements, took all her images, etc. She spent a lot of time on the heart, the cysts, the toes, the femur, the pelvis, and other areas that are often different in Downs babies. Everything else was fine. She said that there are 3 cysts, 2 on the right side and one on the left. I asked but she said that the size doesn't matter. She said that even though she sees cysts on the brains of babies every week, it is more concerning because my baby has more than one, and even more concerning than that, because they are on both sides. She said that there are 12 possible markers for Downs, and my baby has 1 1/2. She said she was sorry and "good luck." I got the impression from her that the outlook was grim.

My Dr was doing a c-section so she couldn't meet with me immediately following the ultrasound and I was told that she would call me later to give me her impressions. She never called that day. The next morning, Christmas Eve, she did call and gave me her opinion. While there are the muliple bilateral choroid plexus cysts, she was "not impressed" by the brightness of the bowel and doesn't consider it concerning. She said that she still wants me to get the level II ultrasound, but that she "thinks my baby is just fine."

While I appreciate her optimism, it really isn't much consolation at this point. I go for my level II on the morning of 1/4, but even so, I won't know for sure if my baby has a disability until he is born. I could opt for an amnio but I'm not willing to take the risk of a miscarriage. All I can do from this point on, is hope for a healthy baby, and prepare in case that does not happen. I know I can handle a baby/child with Down Syndrome, though through my research, I've discovered that these cysts are much more common in babies with Trismony 18, which is nearly always fatal within the first year. That, I don't think I could handle.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T19:36:00.001-08:00

We had a great Christmas, just the four of us, though I must admit that I am very much hoping that next year, we are in Tallahassee and can spend it with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Some of my fondest memories from my childhood are Christmas with so many other family memories present. I want my kids to have those memories too. But, other than it being a little lonely, we had a wonderful time. The girls were patient and appreciative with opening gifts. They shared their toys and got enjoyment in watching others opening their presents. When I was tucking them in for the night, they wanted to sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus, and that's how we ended the holiday :)

in dresses that Grandma made:

I didn't even ask them to do this:

right before church on Christmas Eve:

Sage sprinkling a concoction of glitter and oatmeal and who knows what else (her teachers gave it out as a gift) to attract the reindeer:

for Santa and his reindeer:

seeing all the gifts for the first time:

opening their first gift, a Princess Kitchen, from Santa:

seeing a gift she really likes:

loving her Barbie from cousin Annaliese:

Busy time of year

2010-12-15T12:02:00.001-08:00

So busy in fact, that I haven't posted in a while. So, to get caught up (and these are just some of the highlights).

Sage had her Thanksgiving feast at school:

she and another student read a poem in front of all the first grade classes:

doesn't she look cute as a pilgrim:

Thanksgiving Day. It was pretty uneventful, with just the four of us present. We decorated the tree and had a small meal, none of which the girls would eat:

the feast:

Sage had her first grade music program at school:

all the first graders:

singing one of about 12 songs they sang:

Sienna stayed in the back and danced the whole time:

Sage with her teacher and some friends:

Sienna getting in on the action up on stage:

we've also been busy with potty training:

oh yeah, and of course the NEW BABY!! I'm 18 weeks pregnant as of yesterday. Baby will be joining our family around 5/17/11. We'll find out the sex in one week, on 12/22/10!

First snow of the season

2010-11-13T21:23:00.000-08:00

The first thing she did was taste the snow, which is exactly what Sage always does. But, I know she didn't learn it from Sage because I doubt she remembers last year's snow when she was 18 months old, or perhaps she does. Regardless, I think it's an innate kid characteristic. Oh, and Sage was at school for this years first snow and by the time she got home, it was all melted. I'm sure they'll be plenty more at some point:

she LOVES the snow:

and looks pretty darn cute in her winter get-up:

Halloween Fun

2010-11-07T21:55:00.000-08:00

they were "Funky Fairies", and I have a feeling that this is the last year Sage will agree to one of my ideas, and the last year she'll agree to be something similar to her sister. She really wanted to be Hannah Montana but she couldn't resist the idea of pink hair.

10-10-10

2010-10-10T19:49:00.000-07:00

Just because it's a really cool date, had to make a post, though I have nothing important to say, well not that I can say right now anyway though there is something very important that I would like to say, it's going to have to wait for a while, not that anyone reads this blog anyway so there's really no good reason for not saying what I want to scream from the top of my lungs, it's still going to have a wait a little bit longer. Was that the longest sentence ever written or what?

Pumpkin Patch

2010-10-03T13:52:00.001-07:00

bowling party

2010-09-26T22:56:00.001-07:00

Happy 6th Birthday Sage

2010-09-14T20:00:00.001-07:00

Sage had such a great birthday and on the way home when it was almost over, said "today has been the best day of my life." Success!
She woke up to a roomful of balloons. She opened a few gifts in the morning and got to wear her new "fancy" outfit to school. When she arrived home, she discovered a brand new desk in her room, which Sienna and I spent all day putting together. Seeing her face as she walked in her room was well worth all the effort. After homework, she opened the rest of her gifts, blew out candles on a cupcake she made the night before, and then we headed to build-a-bear where she got a new Panda. Then, we went to dinner at her favorite restuarant, Chili's, and then it was home for more cupcakes.
This Saturday is her big party, at the bowling alley, where she gets a real (Hannah Montana-gasp!) cake and gets to spend the day with her friends doing cosmic bowling. More pictures of that event, to come, I'm sure.

I will always remember

2010-09-11T22:51:00.001-07:00

I will forever remember the way our world changed 9 years ago. I will remember those innocent people who gave their lives in the horrible attacks. I will remember the first responders whose lives have never been the same. I will remember all the soldiers who have fought in this war against terrorism. I will remember how life was before the fear of the stranger set in. I will remember waking up that morning to seeing the second plane fly into the World Trade Center. I will remember that it was my brothers first day working at the Pentagon. I will remember calling his roommate (who worked for the secret service) and informing him of what was occuring down the street from him. I will remember him telling me that he had not heard from my brother and didn't where in the Pentagon he was to be stationed. I will remember calling the hospitals around DC and getting nothing but busy signals. I will remembering those long, treacherous 8 hours, not knowing, wondering, hoping, praying...before hearing my brothers voice. I will, forever remember.

my "highly sensitive" child

2010-09-05T03:22:00.000-07:00

I'm coming to terms with the fact that Sage is a Highly Sensitive child. Of course, I've always known that she was very sensitive, very emotional, very intense, but there's actually a temperament called "the highly sensitive child" for which there is quite a bit of research and information out there. I've ordered two copies of the book "The Highly Sensitive Child: helping our Children Thrive when the World Overwhelms Them" by Elaine Aron, one for myself and one for Sage's teacher. We're only 2 1/2 weeks into the school year and Sage is already having some issues. Her teacher is being absolutely wonderful and wants to learn how to help her just as much as I do.
Very briefly, here is a description of the HSC:

Strengths of Highly Sensitive Children:
Creativity
Intuition
Empathy
Keen Intellect
Conscientiousness
Spiritual
Patient
Kind
Keenly observant
Good sense of humor
Wisdom beyond their years

Challenges in Raising Highly Sensitive Children:
While the following list might be causes of discomfort for most children, highly sensitive children are easily over-stimulated by situations that do not bother most non-sensitive children.
Deep emotional meltdowns
Low threshold for over-stimulation
Over-cautious
Fear of unknown people and situation
Discomfort with new, crowded, noisy places

Everything that I've read so far makes it clear that having a HSC is a "gift" but also very challenging for the parent. The tears I've cried nightly for the past 2 weeks will definitely confirm the challenging part.

the rest of the week...

2010-08-28T23:30:00.000-07:00

wasn't too bad. Sage's dentist appt went really well and she has no cavities. Her two bottom front teeth are still a little lose (or is it loose?) (as they were 6 months ago) but the dentist said she might not lose (or is it loose?) any before she comes back in 6 months. Poor Sage. She wants so badly to lose (or is it loose?) some teeth, as all of her classmates have already lost at least 1. Goes with the territory of being the youngest in the class I assume.

She got stung again today, this time by a wasp! She again screamed bloody murder. Her little knee got so red and swollen that I almost took her into the urgent care clinic but after about an hour, it started to go back to normal. She's sworn to never go into the backyard again.

We went to the Foothills today and visited a place called Disosour Ridge, where there are footprints, fossils and other remnants of dinosours. It was really cool and the girls had a great time exploring and learning.

On Friday, Sienna and I went up to the bowling alley and made reservations for Sage's birthday party. She's only allowed to invite 10 guests so it should be interesting to see who she narrows her list down to. She wanted to invite everyone in her class from last year and everyone in her class from this year, but of course, that's just not reasonable or feasible.

On Friday after picking Sage up from school, we went to a local park and met up with some friends that we haven't seen in a while. On the way home, we stopped at Kohls to get Sage some Twinkle Toes (Skechers) shoes. Little did I know how expensive they were. She really really wanted these because they light up when you walk, but they didn't have them in her size, so she decided on these. But, as soon as we got home, she decided she wanted to look at other stores to see if we could find the light-up ones. We went to another store today (way far from our house of course) but they didn't have her size either. Oh, what to do. I think I'll make her keep the ones she has and maybe Santa can bring her the other ones.

So, anyway, we only have one more week off between sessions at the rec center before activities begin again. Sage will be taking swimming on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Sienna will be doing ballet on Fridays. Sage will hopefully do Girl Scouts again, if I can find a troop that meets during the week as opposed to her former troup that meets on Sunday afternoons, which just isn't conducive to my sleep patterns due to working overnights on the weekends.

It's only Thursday

2010-08-26T12:39:00.000-07:00

...kidding, kindof. Sage has had a rough week so far and I wonder what else might happen. She fell out of her bed (see, my worst fear came true!) on Monday morning and hit her face on her nightstand. I came home from work and immediately noticed the 2 scrapes on her cheek and forehead. Drew said she didn't even wake up and he just put her back in her bed. I was convinced, for a short time anyway, that she must have knocked herself unconscious and suffered a brain injury.

Yesterday she got stung by a bee on her finger. She was outside fighting, I mean playing with our neighbor, when I hear her screaming bloody murder. I thought he was chasing her with an ax. Seriously, I did. But it was just a bee sting. Which is not at all JUST for my little Sagey poo.

Today, she woke up and couldn't walk. She said she slept on her leg wrong and couldn't move it. She was still limping when I took her to school. Hopefully it's just a cramp or growing pains, and not like, a broken bone or anything.

In a few hours, she has to go to the dentist. She's excited about it, but I'm so afraid she's going to have a cavity. When we went for her standard check-up 6 months ago, we were told she had a mouth full of cavities. We know where that eventually landed us-at Children's under anesthesia. UGH! Lets hope for the best, not only at todays appt, but for the rest of the week as well.

2 1/2 Years Old!!

2010-08-25T12:22:00.000-07:00

First day of first grade

2010-08-20T20:28:00.000-07:00

Just a little excited. She was up and dressed at 6:30am.

With her new "big girl" backpack, which is almost as big as she is:

With her teacher, Ms. Mckinney, whom I already love:

With the whole school doing the pledge:

You can tell she's a little nervous:

She made it through the first day, and the first week (well, half of a week since school started on a Wed) with no tears. We are off to a great start!

Last day of summer

2010-08-17T19:26:00.000-07:00

Sage wanted to go to zoo to celebrate her last day of summer vacation before she starts first grade tomorrow.

before heading in:

looking at the zebras, Sage's favorite animal:

before going into the polar bear exhibit:

looking at a big ole ape, who kindof freaked me out with the way he was eyeing the girls:

on the carousel:

First Dentist Appointment

2010-08-08T00:25:00.000-07:00

Sienna went to the dentist for the first time and did such a great job. She actually told the hygienist "more, more" when she was done cleaning her teeth, which the hygienist said was a first. The dentist said her 16 1/2 teeth are perfect and cavity free and told mama to keep doing what she's doing.

she was excited to be at the dentist, but kept her blankie close by just in case:

she loved her cool sunglasses she got to wear:

Dr. Julie is doing her exam:

all done and still smiling:

Paranoia

2010-08-02T00:48:00.000-07:00

I've always been really protective of my girls. Probably too much so on occasion. But, working in the ER has really gotten me paranoid. I'm constantly checking our track board to see if they are in the waiting room and often find myself obsessing over whether they are going to sustain a subdural hematoma from a fall off the monkey bars, or a fractured femur from the slide, or a laceration from falling off their bike/tricycle, or a near drowning incident in the bathtub, or a dog bite from playing next door, or a sexual assault from a stranger at a birthday party, or a diagnosis of leukemia after a minor ache, or a brain tumor after having a headache, or a concussion from falling off their bed, or much, much worse. Unfortunately, these are things I see every weekend and it scares me to death. If I didn't already have anxiety, I certainly do now. But what is a mama to do, other than hold their babies extra tight each and every chance they get?

Out of the mouths of babes

2010-07-24T22:52:00.000-07:00

Sage: Mommy, what if you were on America's Got Talent? I'd really watch it all of the time.
Me: Yeah, well, I don't really have a talent for that show.
Sage: What about being a good mommy?
Me: Awww, you think I'm talented at being a good mommy?
Sage: Yep
Sienna: Yeah, good mommy
Me: You guys are so sweet. Do you think I'd win?
Sage: No
Sienna: No

Sienna to Drew: Daddy, pease go bye-bye. Pease
Drew: not right now
Sienna: Daddy, pease. Nena (Sienna) go bye-bye. Pease. Pease daddy.
Drew: Where do you want to go?
Sienna: Beverage store (aka liquor store)

Sienna the ballerina

2010-06-13T00:32:00.000-07:00

Sage has been doing ballet for some time now and is really good at it. Last session, I would take Sienna along and we would wait at the rec center while Sage did her class. Half the time, Sienna would have to wear one of Sage's too-big leotards under her dress or would adamantly demand to wear one of her sister's tutus. Week after week, it was a fight to drop Sage off, as Sienna would always yell "Nena ballet. Nena ballet" (she calls herself nena). So, when signing Sage up for the summer session, I noticed that they had a 2-3 year old class for beginning ballet, and excitedly signed Sienna up. She was SO excited to finally be able to do ballet, to wear a leotard, tights, and ballet shoes just like her big sister. I was a little nervous when the instructors said to leave her there with them and that they would come get the parents for the last few minutes of the class so that we can see what they learned (the same thing they do for the bigger kids). I thought "no way in hell is my 2 year old going to let me leave her alone with these strangers." But, when I explained that she was going to do just as sissy did, and I would be right outside the classroom, she hugged me and ran off to the teachers. I stood right outside the door, waiting for her to start crying for me or at least looking around for me in distress. But, Nope! She stayed on task the entire 45 minutes, doing exactly what she was supposed to be doing, waiting her turn patiently, and listening to the teachers just like she should have. She was the best little ballerina in the whole class! Oh, but there was only one other little girl in the class. The instructors said that next week they will probably combine the two 2-3 year old classes since ours was so small. But, I'm sure she'll still be in the best even in a room full of kids! well, we'll see :)

ETA: they did combine the 2 classes and she's still, by far, the best little ballerina in the whole class!! :)

Congratulations Sage!

2010-06-05T07:26:00.000-07:00

We are the proud parents of a kindergarten graduate!!

at home before the big day:

a cute bulletin board I happened to come across:

sillouettes in the back of the gym:

yummy cake:

getting the "Big Red Hen Award" because Mrs. Schrock could "always count on Sage to be doing the right thing even when everyone else around her wasn't". Each kid got an award based on books they read this year. In addition, Sage and 2 other kids got recognized for knowing over 150 sight words (they were expected to know 75):

with Mrs. Schrock:

walking into the gym:

getting her diploma from the Principal, Asst. Principal, and Dean:

posing after the ceremony:

Mommy, Daddy, and Sienna are so proud of you, Sage. Congratulations!!!

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T03:20:00.000-07:00

I'm getting a new tattoo today!!!

whats up?

2010-04-24T23:01:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been a month since I last made a post. I always have such good intentions of writing more frequently, and then I either get distracted, busy, or just don't think about it. I'll never understand how some people have the time to blog every day, much less several times a day, and especially not these 5000 word posts that some people like to make. Also, when I do post or think about posting, I'm usually at work, yet I like to include photos which are only on my home computer, so I usually tell myself that I'll just wait until I get home and make the time to blog. Though, that never happens, because, well, I'm too busy doing things like, you know, raising my kids!

Anyway, I do, one day hope to print out this blog and put it in those non-existent baby books that I have for the girls. I try, well, I want to try, to keep this about them, to write down important (and not so important) updates on them and our family in general. But I think it can sometimes be tricky, for me at least. I know no one really reads this blog, but I'm always conscious of the fact that people CAN read this blog and that it will always be out there, in the world of the web, and I sort of get scared, or at least apprehensive to post a lot of things. Enough of my rambling, on to the girls:

Sage only has a month left of school. I got her invitation for Kindergarten Graduation the other day and my eyes immediately welled up with tears. I just can't believe her first year of school is almost over. I have such mixed emotions about how it went, how it could have gone, how it should have gone, what I could have done differently, etc, etc. (I want to write more details about some issues I've had with her school and specifically with her teacher, but again, it's that whole "who might read this one day" thing.) But, I learned a lot this year. It's not easy to have a kid in school. I have to be her advocate. I have to speak up. I have to confront the teacher. I have to be present and involved. I have to inquire about how she is doing on a regular and frequent basis, because the teacher has 20+ other kids to deal with. I have to make sure my kid is not just another kid in the class, is not getting forced into the herd, but is getting the individual attention that she deserves and needs. I have to be my kids voice.

So, Drew's step-sister is getting married in Indiana in May, while Sage is still in school. Without thinking it through, we agreed to go. We agreed to let Sage miss school, and we're driving so that's a lot of school she's going to miss. What we didn't know, is that she will also miss her ballet recital, her closing ceremony for Girl Scouts, and a field trip with her 5th grade buddy (and her first ever ride on a real school bus). Had I known that all of this would be going on, I never would have agreed to attend. This will be the last time we go on a trip during the school year. Like I said, it's not easy to have a school-aged kid.

Sienna has finally (not in a good way) learned to say "no". She used to be so agreeable, so easy, so positive. Now, everything is "no this", "no that", etc, etc. She'll automatically say no to something without even thinking about it. Just to test it out, earlier today I asked her out of nowhere if she wanted a jelly bean (which she loves). She automatically said "no, bean" and then looked at me puzzled and said "yes, bean." Little stinker butt.

If you listened to her talk, you would never know that she was a late talker and that I actually had her evaluated for a speech delay. Everywhere we go, we constantly get comments about "what a good talker she is" and "how well she speaks for a two year old". I just smile and agree :)

We transformed her crib into a toddler bed this past week. So far, she has continued to be the wonderful, amazing sleeper that she was in her crib (knock on wood). I was surprised that I became sad with this transition though. There's something about a crib that represents a baby. And, my baby is now a big girl.

And, we got a cat! His name was finally declared to be Pumpkin Nectar, but just today Sage said she wants to change his name to Honey. So, I don't know what his name is, but he sure is cute and just the most cuddly little kitty one could ever have. See, I want to add pictures of him....and will once I get home from work.

Spring Break

2010-03-27T23:10:00.000-07:00

This is Sage's first spring break and I have lots planned. We'll see how much we actually get accomplished. Things she and I want to do:

go to the zoo
get together with friends (she especially wants to see her friend Hailey)
go to the pool
paint an accent wall in the master bedroom (she really wants to help)
stay up late and have a special slumber party with just she and I
play lots of games and dress up
work on her book that she's writing

A whole bunch of nothin

2010-03-15T03:49:00.000-07:00

I'm bored at work, so....

Grandma Carol comes to visit in 2 days. YAY!
I'm having some major communication issues with Sage's school
I had a horrible case at work last week that still has be frightened. Basically, a 19 year old pedophile pretending to be a 17 year old suicidal kid that was about 30 seconds away from being admitted to our unit before I figured everything out
I need, okay want, to spend some of our tax return money. At the top of the list is a new stove, refinishing the hardwood floor and getting a new sliding glass door
I really should go to the dentist
I want to permanently give up my Friday night shift
I'm starting to get baby fever
I really want to move back to Tallahassee
I'm worried about my stepmother who is being treated for a rare form of cancer
I miss going to church on Sundays
I'm disappointed with Sage's girl scout troup
I'm excited to take Sienna to tumbling tots for the first time this week
I've always hated when kids called their siblings "sissy" until Sienna started doing it last week
I just ate sushi at 4:30 am
I'm going to walk around the hospital again in an attempt to get the blood flowing and keep my eyes open.
adios

2 years old!!!

2010-02-25T19:29:00.001-08:00

what she does when you ask her to smile:

we went to Chuck-E-Cheese (her first time) after picking Sage up from school:

blowing out her candle:

her daddy and I took her to an in-door play area called Monkey Business which she loved:

after her birthday bath:

And, a few random things about my little 2 year old:

She has an ever expanding vocabulary and will repeat everything she hears. I love the way she says "Ariel". She kind of rolls her tongue a couple times at the end, sounding something like "airllllll". There's no way to really spell that out so that you grasp the cuteness of it. Some of my other favorite words of hers at the moment are: "towel" for owl, "nana" for Sienna, "hop hop" for bunny, "pricess" for princess, "pop" for lollipop.

She idolizes her sister and wants to be just like her.

She has a temper like no other. When she gets mad, she screams "STOP" with such conviction you'd think someone was trying to hurt her. She's definitely hit the terrible twos with a vengeance, full with lay on the ground, scream at the top of her lung tantrums.

She never says the word "no" and is the most agreeable little thing(unless she's having a moment described above). She constantly answers "yeah" to almost all questions and if she really wants to answer in the negative she'll either shake her head no, or say "uh uh".

She loves almost all fruits and vegetables and hates all meats except turkey hot dogs and occasionally chicken nuggets.

She still sleeps in her crib and **knock on wood** is such a great sleeper that I'm afraid to convert her crib into a toddler bed even though I got the cutest bedding for it.

She loves barbies which cracks me up because I worked so hard and was so proud to keep them away from Sage for 5 years. All of her barbies and baby dolls have to be naked. Who knows what that's about.

Speaking of babies, she likes baby dolls but LOVES real babies. She really really wants one.

She's obsessed with butts. Seriously.

She loves to dance. She is a killer dancer; usually just does freestyle but has recently been working on ballet moves. Oh, and while watching the Olympics, she'll try to imitate the ice skaters. She's starting tumbling tots soon and (I think) will pick it right up.

She loves "pop" (lollipops) and "beans" (jelly beans) and fruit snacks. She's definitely got a sweet tooth. However, she also loves to brush her 16 little teeth.

She loves bubble baths and would probably spend hours in there if I would let her.

She sits on her potty about 10 times a day and has since she was walking but has yet to pee or poo in it. She has peed a few times on the floor though.

She prefers "princess tails" over "pig tails". No, there's no difference.

She loves, loves, loves books. Oh, my gosh does she love books. The first thing she says when she wakes up is "book" and wants someone to read one to her. She insists on reading at least 5 books each night. During nap time, she'll take books off her shelf that she can reach from her crib, and will read them to her "friends" (her stuffed animals).

She loves spinny dresses, because her sister does. She also loves necklaces and purses. We call her our little diva.

She loves to snatch things from her sister and say "mine". Pretty soon she's going to start having time out if she doesn't stop.

She loves buses. Until recently, anything larger than a car was a "us."

She says 'please' ALL THE TIME. I'll ask her if she's hungry "yeah pease" ask her if she's hurt "yeah pease" ask her if she needs time out "yeah pease". It is TOO CUTE!!

We love our baby so much and can't imagine life without her.

Sage's "surgery"

2010-02-22T01:15:00.001-08:00

First off, I don't really consider it surgery because they didn't cut her open or anything, but all the Dr's, paperwork, etc. refered to her procedure as surgery, I suppose because she was under general anesthesia and it was performed at a hospital? anyhoo...
So, (I don't know if I mentioned this part or not) Sage had some cavities (long story, but she had none at one appt and then 6 months later had several) and had the first one fixed in the dentists office. It was a little traumatic as she had to have a baby root canal, the laughing gas and some novacaine, but overall she did fairly well. We went back a couple weeks later to fix a couple more and she completely freaked out. She did okay with the laughing gas and novacaine (still doesn't know that she had shots) but then kicked, screamed, flailed, and cried uncontrollably when the tight "hugger" was put on her tooth that was to be worked on. So, the treatment was aborted and we discussed our options...which led us to the Children's Hospital (the one I work at) on Wednesday. Her regular dentist performs the procedures at the hospital once a month, using their facility, dr's, nurses, anesthesiologists, etc.

We got to the hospital at 9 and finished the registration process and hung out in the waiting room for a while. Luckily, the local radio station was there doing their annual "36 hours for Kids" drive so there were a lot of distractions. They finally came and took us back into an exam room and several Dr's came in to examine her, gather information on her history, and have me sign several forms consenting to treatment and acknowledging risks which they were sure to explain included DEATH. Each time someone new would come in, she would clam up, hold onto my arms, bury her head into my chest and refuse to cooperate. Lovely. Fortunately, we were able to watch Cinderella so that helped a tad bit.

The nurses could (obviously) see how anxious she was, so they called a Child Life Specialist to come in and talk to her. We use these people in the ED all the time and they are wonderful. Right before the CLS arrived, they gave Sage her "sleepy juice" (Verset-a medication to help her calm down and designed to cause amnesia so that she didn't remember what was about to occur). The CLS came in and gave Sage a teddy a bear which she loved/loves. She pulled out a mask, the medication, some tubes and just really spent some time with Sage explaining the process, letting her explore the equipment and doing her best to ease some anxiety.

The nurse then came and said it was time to wheel her back to the operating room. Well, Sage refused to get on the guerney, so I carried her down the long hallway and into the OR. As soon as we walked into this intimidating room, full of Dr's and nurses and monitors and lights and equipment, she started bawling. And I mean really bawling. I tried to lay her down on the table and she held on to me for dear life. I was finally able to pry her off of me, all the while she's screaming at the top of her lungs and kicking her legs. The Anesthesiologist puts the mask on her as she continues to scream and tries to pull the mask off of her face. I'm just stroking her head, kissing her cheeks, calmly whispering in her ear how much I love her and how she's going to be okay. FINALLY, she falls asleep and the Anesthesiologist asks if I want to give her "one last kiss."

I walk back to the exam room and completely break down. I just put my face into my hands and had a really good, long cry. You can probably imagine what was going through my head: "what if that was my LAST kiss, what if, what if, what if." oh, and I forget to mention that Drew supposedly couldn't get out of his clinicals so I was there alone.

The next hour and a half was absolutely the longest of my entire life. I hadn't eaten anything since the night before since she couldn't eat and I didn't want to eat in front of her. I felt nauseous, light headed, weak. I just sat in the lobby people-watching for what seemed like an eternity. FINALLY, they called me and said the Dentist wanted to talk to me. I ran to where she was and took a HUGE sigh of relief when she said "everything went great." She gave me a run down on the treatment, the aftercare instructions, follow up appt, ETC. The Anesthesiologist then talked to me, and truthfully, I have no idea what he said other than she was okay and in recovery.

It was probably another 15 minutes before they took me back to see her and she was already awake, yet very disoriented and groggy. I was a little disappointed that I wasn't there with her when she woke up, but she doesn't remember that I wasn't there so I guess that's okay. The recovery was a little scary. She'd wake up and then go back to sleep. She was hooked up to IV's and monitors and once she realized that she was connected to something, she got a little agitated. She kept asking me what was in her hand and I didn't want to tell her it was a needle so I made something up that seemed to satisfy her curiosity. For some reason, her blood pressure kept dropping, down into the 78/58 range and sounding all the alarms. So, every couple minutes, the nurse would come running in, turn off the alarmas and ecourage her to take some deep breaths. They finally gave her some oxygen and then her blood pressure seemed to stabilize. A little while later, they brought us a wagon and we were on our way to the car.

Once we got to the car, I showed her her new princess dress (Princess and the Frog) that I bought her for being so brave and that put a big smile on her face. The rest of the evening, she was super tired, weak, and EXTREMELY pale. After watching some new movies that I got her, eating several bowls of ice cream and resting her poor little body, she suddenly seemed to bounce back. I had to keep reminding her not to run or spin and to try to take it easy. By the time she went to bed that night and when the Denstis called to check on her, she was almost back to her old self, except for that horrible, unforgettable smell of anesthesia that she was breathing out of her body. By the next morning, she was 100%!!

valentine's day

2010-02-14T20:49:00.001-08:00

Sage with her best friend, Teagan, at their Valentines Day party:

being her typical goof-ball self:

Sage reading Sienna a bedtime story:

playing in the snow. we got about 4 inches the night before Valentines Day:

(and unfortunatly I did get any with their V-day balloons or stuffed puppies. Oh, well).

23 month

2010-01-25T01:30:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas (and happy 22 months to Sienna)

2009-12-25T19:24:00.001-08:00

I'm at work so I mine as well write a post. We had a wonderful Christmas. The girls woke up a little after 6 as we so nice suggested, and came to the living room FULL of gifts. Santa had Sage's Princess scooter and Sienna's Ariel trike all assempled and ready to go, with big red bow on top. They were absolutely ecstatic when they came into the room and Sienna, especially, was a little taken aback. Though with some help from her big sister, she soon got a good grasp on how this Christmas morning thing went. It took us about 4 hours to unwrap all the gifts, given we had one break for breakfast, and the fact that Sienna wanted to take each toy out of the box and play with it before moving on to the next gift.

If I were to ask the girls which gifts were their favorite, I think Sage would say the scooter, her princess dresses and shoes to match, and her easy bake oven with all the new cooking accessories that Santa found. Sienna would most certainly say her trike (though her legs arn't quite long enough to reach the pedals), and her new baby doll that came with a stroller, high chair, and crib.

There wasn't much fighting, except for several "MINE!"'s from Sienna whenever Sage wanted to see the baby doll. They're pretty good as sharing (for the most part). Sage is getting way more observant with this whole Santa thing though, and I'm going to have to be more careful next year. She was very quick to point out that Santa had the same wrapping paper as us and she kept saying "so, did you get me this or did Santa." Of course I couldn't remember so would just make things up but then 20 minutes later she would ask again and say "But you said that Santa got this for me." Stinker.

6 days till Christmas...

2009-12-19T19:04:00.000-08:00

...and I just ordered Drew's first gift. It's the coolest thing ever and I hope it brings a smile to his face. It's a "Male Nurse Action Figure." I think he's going to like it.
The only thing he asked for was some sort of hard drive for the computer which I just need to pick up from Costco. I really tried to convince him to chose several small gifts over one large gift, but he refused. I guess he doesn't enjoy opening presents as much as I do. I hate to just get him one gift, but if that's what he really wants, that's what he'll get (plus the action figure of course).
I, myself, would much prefer to have lots of smaller, more practical gifts. I've asked for VS undies, Bath and Body handsoap, funky socks, a colorful scarf, a new curling iron, and a butter plate. Yeah, real exciting I know.
Of course, now that we have kids, Christmas is all about them anyway. Every year I promise not to go overboard and i try really hard to refrain from buying them too mnay things. Every year, I fail miserably. This year is no exception. But it's just SO MUCH FUN to see their little eyes light up and their huge smiles on their face each time they open a gift from Santa. I love Christmas.

Work is...well, crazy as always. Lets see, yesterday we had a 2 year old that was here for a psych eval. A TWO YEAR OLD! That's just insane to me.
Last weekend, I evaluated a little kid whose "mother" had traded a used car for him when he was just a few months old. That was a first. She was breastfeeding an infant and I couldn't help but think what she did to obtain that one. Kidding...kindof.
Last night I evaluated a kiddo that smelled horrible and had a medical diagnoses of "Chromosome 15q Duplication Syndrome." Interesting.
Last weekend I saw a 12 year old girl whose grandmother called police because she was convinced that the kid was kidnapped and raped the day before when in actuality the kiddo skipped school and hung out with a boy. Grandmother only wanted a rape kit and refused a psych eval, though police thought a psych eval was warranted. Grandmother refused to let me talk to kiddo alone and kept referring me to "her lawyer." Turns out a lawyer is involved. The kiddo was here a couple a couple months ago and was hospitalized against grandmother and mother's wishes. Mom got angry and beligerantand was being escorted out when she turned and bit the nurse on the chest. The nurse is pressing charges, hence the lawyer.

my silly girls

2009-12-12T18:29:00.000-08:00

I swear, not a day goes by that I'm not on the floor laughing hysterically at something one of them did or said. Usually, it's several times a day.

Sienna is really working on her words and often comes up with something on her own when the actual word is too long or difficult to pronounce. She is so enthralled with Santa and gets so excited whenever she sees him, or someone that resembles him. She, at first, was calling him "ho, ho, ho" but then shortened it to just "ho." Well, now, whenever she sees anyone wearing a Santa hat, she points and screams really loud "HO!!!!". She did this to the middle school girls at Sage's school. She did this to strangers at Target. And now she even does it to herself. She insists on wearing her own Santa hat whenever we go outside. She'll say "HO" and point to herself. I'm like, "you're a ho?" and she screams "YEAH!" all excited-like. Too cute she is.

I hate barbies. I hate that they have huge boobs and teeny tiny waists. I hate that they are white and blond and married to Ken and have a huge house and a fancy car. I hate how they misrepresent women and I hate what they teach our kids. I tried so hard to deter Sage from getting interested in them, and succeeded for the longest time. Until, she discovered that there are princess barbies which are no different that the regular barbies except that they are made by Disney and wear pretty princess dresses instead of daisy dukes and crop tops. But, Sage is very quick to correct you if you call her princess a barbie. So, it completely boggles my mind that Sienna is obsessed with these princess dolls and that she only calls them "baabees". I have no idea where she even learned that term. Sage will say "No, Sienna, it's not a barbie, it's a princess" and Sienna immediately responds "BAABEEEEEE!!!" And, she insists on sleeping with all 8 of these danged baabees every single night.

Sage is just as silly, but in her own way. And, of course, if something gets a laugh the first time, she believes it should get a laugh the 90th or 100th time as well. Gets old, but what are you going to do? For a while now, she's been obsessed with her "bony butt". She'll come right up to us, turn around, pull down her pants and moon us, all the while saying "look at my bony butt, look at my bony butt." Now that I think of it, she seems a little obsessed with other butts too. She's often smacking one of us on the rear end out of nowhere or teaching Sienna to "spank your butt." They're weird. They must have learned that from their father.

(I'm bored and at work, hence the long post and lots of rambling).

So, yeah, work. Today has been super (enter the s-word here...can't say it or I might jinx myself), which is a very nice change from last weekend. Last weekend was the roughest so far. Saturday night was just super busy and I was working straight from the second I arrived until the second I left. Sunday, when I arrived, we had two little kids that had just coded (died). I was doing my own eval when a nurse pulled me out and asked if I could help as the regular social worker hadn't arrived yet. I was very reluctant as 1) I don't have experience in grief and loss, 2) it's not in my job description, and 3) I didn't know if I could emotionally handle it. After thinking about it for a minute, I decided to try to help. I spoke to one of the doctors, who had just finished trying to save a 3 year old little boy. The same Dr had treated the boy the week prior and had sent them home, saying he was at "baseline". The boy had a very rare blood disease and wasn't expected to live to be an adult but no one "saw this coming." The Dr was understandably shaken up, on the verge of tears. Anyway, she asked if I could go into the "family room" (a room different from the exam room) and see if there was anything I could do to help the parents. So, I walked into the room to meet with the mom and dad who were going through the most painful experience of their life, and there they were....holding their deceased child. THAT was not what I was expecting. It about knocked me off my feet. My voice started to quiver and tears immediately filled my eyes. Luckily, I didn't have to stay long as the regular social worker had just arrived and so I excused myself after getting the mom some crackers. But, even though I was only in there for a minute, my life is changed. I still, a week later, can't get that poor little boy's face out of my mind. I see him when I close my eyes. I see him when I'm not thinking about something else. I see him in my dreams.

21 months

2009-11-26T18:13:00.000-08:00

sometimes (okay, most of the time) it's hard to be a working mama

2009-11-21T23:20:00.000-08:00

I totally let Sage down. She had been practicing the Pledge of Allegiance in sign language all year. Last Monday she was to perform it with her class in front of the entire school. Well, due to snow, a car accident on the way, and the fact that I had 2 hours of sleep the night before because of work, we walked into the gym just as the class began. She, understandably so, broke down into tears: "why didn't they wait for me?"..."why did I practice so hard?"..."why didn't we leave earlier?", etc, etc, etc. I wanted so badly to cry with her as I held and comforted her in the middle of a sea of students and staff. I think I'll feel bad for some time to come. Some of my great on-line mama friends had the best suggestion though, and I think it helped ease a little of Sage's pain. They had me videotape her doing the Pledge and they all wrote comments, praising her for her hard work and talent. I read her their beautiful words and I could literally see some of the pride in her accomplishment return to her cute little face.

Drew and I both work Friday nights, and he had been taking that night off for the past several weeks to take care of the girls, but could no longer afford to do so. So, last night we arranged to leave them with Summer, a 15 year old girl that lives up the street. the girls have never been left with a teenager. But, she's a good girl: quiet, polite and very shy. At the last minute, her friend Sydney, also from the neighborhood, decided to join her. I thought it was a good idea, as Sydney had been over playing with the girls and Sienna had just warmed up to her. Sydney is Summer's complete opposite: loud, outgoing, assertive. I thought it might work out well for Summer to have a little help for her first night on the job. It turned out okay overall, but leaving initially was extremely difficult for Sienna. She screamed bloody murder, as I felt my heart rip into two pieces: "mommeeeeeeee"......"mommeeeeeeee". I cried the whole way to work. Gosh, I hope next week goes a little better.

So, I get to work this evening and am informed that a little 4 year old girl is on her way from one of our satellite clinics with a chief complaint of "being possessed" and "needing an exorcism," according to her mother. It's definitely not common for us to get someone that young, nor is it common practice for us to perform exorcisms ;) I'd be lying if I didn't say I was looking forward to conducting this evaluation. As I had hoped, she didn't need to be hospitalized. The poor little girl, and her 2 and 5 year old sisters, have witnessed their mom be abused by their dad for their entire lives. Mom would take them out of state to flee the abuse and then would call dad, tell him of their whereabouts and reunite with them. They have been in a shelter for 2 weeks. Last week, mom let them see their dad, and ever since, kiddo has been a raging mess. Yeah, I wish I could have put mom on a hold and locked her up for a while.

catching up

2009-11-08T19:18:00.000-08:00

Tonight I'm going to actually blog with words instead of pictures since I'm at work and don't have access to my photos. A lot has been going on, so as long as we stay slow here in the ER, hopefully I'll be able to get caught up. Up until now, I've tried to keep my work out of this blog and only focus on the kids. But I think I'm going to change things up a bit and include some details regarding work. For one, because it is such a big part of my life. For two, because I really need an outlet to release some of my work stress and I think it might be therapeutic to write it down. But, Sage and Sienna will always be the main topic of this blog, as they are the main topic of my life!

So, we'll start with Sage. She is absolutely thriving in kindergarten and doing so well both academically and socially. We recently got a letter from the gifted and talented coordinator, saying she is being pulled out into a small group on a regular basis because she is so advanced. This really reaffirmed my decision to start her in kindy at such an early age as opposed to waiting a year like others suggested.

She is officially a reader now. She picked it up so quickly. It all just seemed to click one day and she can pretty much sound out any (simple) word.

She just finished her soccer season. She did not do well at all. I'm still quite confused about why and what her problem really was and where it stems from. She loves the game and was by far the best player on her team. But, she would break down in tears at every single practice/game. She would get upset that she wasn't the first to score, or upset that the other team took the ball away from her, or upset that she missed the goal, and the best was when she broke down into tears because she did score and she didn't want everyone cheering for her. I think it may be a bit of "the only child syndrome" mixed with a bit of perfectionism. Regardless of the reasons, she will be staying away from team sports for a while. I think she wants to try jazz or tap dancing next.

She is also participating in Girl Scouts and is a Daisy (what they call the kindy and first graders) so we meet with her troup every other Sunday. They had their first big activity on Friday night, which was a "Chocolate Factory Event" at her school. Because of my new job I was unable to attend, but Drew and Sage both said they had a great time. She got to make lots of candy, sing songs, do crafts, and interact with the older Girl Scouts. She should get her first badge for attending the event here soon. How exciting, and her great grandma would be so proud!

She and I are still attending church every week (that was my New Years resolution) and she just loves going to bible school and learning new things. The other day we were talking about the holidays and she said: "mom, do you know which holiday is my favorite? It's Christmas. Do you know why?" Of course I do...it's because you get lots of presents, is what I was thinking. But she surprised me and said "Because it's Jesus' birthday."

On a not so good note, she has a pretty bad cavity (and some other more minor problem areas) that has affected the root and therefore she is going to need a baby root canal and then get a cap on the tooth. I feel horrible for allowing this to happen. She had a cleaning 9 months ago and had no cavities. I think since then, we slacked a little with allowing her to be the primary brusher instead of checking to make sure she was thorough. She is understandably quite anxious about the procedure, though they can't get her in until the end of December, unless there is a cancellation before hand. I think I'm as nervous as she is.

She had her 5 year well child checkup and passed with flying colors though she still has her heart murmur. Her pediatrician assures us that it is nothing to worry about. She was 44 inches tall and 40.25 pounds (which just barely allowed her to move into a booster seat!!).

Now on to Sienna. She continues to be quite the firecracker, and her personality just continues to evolve as she becomes more and more vivacious, humorous, silly, and stubborn on a daily basis.

She is finally getting some more teeth. She had been stuck at 10 teeth since she was 12 months old, but just last week, three (and possible a fourth) are popping through, including her two upper canines. Luckily, she doesn't seem to be in any discomfort. She struggles with chronic constipation and though we have her on some OTC meds, it doesn't seem to be helping. I'm reluctant to increase the amount of the medication and think we may need to be referred to a specialist. At her last appt she was 34 inches tall and 21.75 pounds. Still a skinny minny, super-model in the making, just like Sage.

She has recently begun pretend play which just cracks me up. She's always liked to dress up and emulate Sage, but now she'll initiate the play on her own. She'll crawl around the house and meow like a cat or bark like a dog. And oh my gosh is it cute!!

She continues to pick up new words on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. Her current favorite words are "yeah" and more recently "mine" and "butt", which I'm okay with as long it's not the word "no".

She's experimenting with potty training and sits on her little potty several times a day, though has yet to produce anything.

She is still a very picky eater and I continue to worry way too much about every little bite that goes or doesn't go into her mouth.

She still LOVES LOVES LOVES to dance. I swear this kiddo is going to be a professional dancer. Since she was barely walking, she's exhibited an ability to move and shake like I've never seen, well not from a white baby anyway.

okay, I could obviously go one forever about the girls, but want to focus on work for just a minute.

So, I started my new job as a Psychiatric Social Worker in the ER at Children's Hospital. I've finally completed training and have started my shift, which is Friday 5-midnight, Sat and Sun 5:30pm-2:00am. I knew it was going to be a difficult transition into this setting, but I never knew how heart wrenching it would actually be. Just going to the cafeteria, I always pass little tiny kids that are obviously undergoing chemo or extremely sick in other ways. It's very frequent that there is a trauma kid in the ED and his/her screams are enough to pierce your heart.

Last night though, was particularly rough. A little 2 year old died. She had some ongoing medical issues, but her parents were bringing her in for diarhea. She died on the way to the hospital. Fortunately, I didn't see her body, but some of my coworkers did and it was hard enough to hear them talk about her. I did, however, see her parents (and the other family members who came to be with them) on and off through out the night. I won't soon forget their cries or their tears. I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night/this morning and I can't stop thinking about how fragile life is, how lucky I am to have healthy kids, how unfair it is that so many young innocent little lives have to be ended so abruptly.

...and now the doc just came in and wants me to see a 13 year old ingestion case...

20 months!!

2009-10-25T18:05:00.000-07:00

19 months

2009-09-25T16:22:00.000-07:00

Child Find Eval

2009-09-24T13:10:00.000-07:00

Sienna has been declared "normal". Now, usually I wouldn't get excited about this, as in my opionion normal=boring, and I know that she is far from boring, but when having a developmental evaluation conducted on your child, normal=good. So, in this instance, I was so happy to hear that my baby is "normal." Basically, the experts think that her pediatrician was over-reacting and that he misunderstood the guidelines of what constitutes a language delay. He (the pediatrician) was very convincing when he explained that "complete strangers should understand 100% or her words, which should equal between 5-10 words" at 18 months of age. This concern of his accompanied with the face that Sage was on the complete other end of the spectrum with 75 recognizeable words at 18 months of age, was enough for me to consent to the evaluation.
Well, I found out that only 60% of her words should be recognizeable to strangers. And, as I knew would happen, she has had a huge explosion of words in the past 3-4 weeks, which she certainly shared with the evaluators. She now says the following words with very good clarity (they knew what she was saying without me having to interpret): baby, bubble, pop, yeah, poo-poo, pee-pee, ball, juice, done, boo-boo, owie, push, dada, bee, and I know there's a few more that I can't recall at this moment. Even though the appointment was very time consuming and I knew in my gut that there was nothing wrong, I'm glad we went through with it, as it gives me a peace of mind and reassurance that my baby is just fine.

New Job

2009-09-18T11:05:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited. I got my dream job. I'll be working in the ER at Children's Hospital doing psych evals. The shift is Friday, Saturday and Sunday from 6pm until 2am which is perfect since that will allow me to be home all week. I'll be able to drop off and pick up Sage from school. I'll be able to spend all day every day with Sienna. I'll be able to participate in Sage's school activities. I'll be able to spend quality time with Sienna working on her speech. I'll be able to sleep! I'll be able to do so many things with them that I've dreamed and hoped to be able to do since they were born. This is the next best thing to being a stay-at-home-mom. Of course, going from 56 hours a week(with both jobs that I've resigned from) down to 24 hours a week, even with a very nice pay raise, will definitely pose some financial predicaments for us. But, we'll figure it out one way or another. For now, I'm going to enjoy being on cloud 9 for a little while before that reality hits me.

Happy 5th Birthday Princess Sage

2009-09-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

Sage had a wonderful birthday weekend, despite the freezing cold and rain that occured during her party. We packed the weekend full of fun. We had our weekly slumber party on Friday night and spent it preparing party favors and stuffing the pinata. On Saturday morning she had her first soccer practice, which she cried throughout due to not having the ball the whole time. We're going to try one more practice this weekend and if the same occurs, we'll be sticking to individual sports such as ballet and gymnastics. We then picked up lunch, scarfed it down, and then went to pick up her balloons and headed to the park to decorate and then to celebrate with her friends. After the party, we watched lots of princess movies. Sunday, we went to church and then to Target to spend some of her birthday money. We enjoyed the pretty weather by going back to the new park that we discovered that is adjacent to the soccer fields. Monday was her actual birthday and I took the morning off of work to take her to school, where they had her come to the front of the entire student body and recognized her as the birthday girl. I picked her up from school and took her to the dentist, where it was confirmed that she has her first cavity. Without having insurance, they want us to spend almost $500 on a baby root canal and cap. They came up with this treatment plan without even taking x-rays. That night we went to McDonald's to eat and play, as requested by the birthday girl. All in all, it was a great 5th birthday for Princess Sage, other than the dentist appt and tantrum during soccer practice of course. Here's a few pictures, and I'll try to get some more loaded in the near future.

18 months old

2009-08-25T12:20:00.001-07:00

She went to the Dr for her 18 month well baby check up, and weighs 21 pounds (10%), is 32 inches long (50%) and her head is in the 75th %. A super model in the making :)

He diagnosed her with "expressive language delay" and gave us a referral to Early Intervention who will be completing a thorough evaluation and give us recommendations. Personally, I think she's on the brink of a word explosion but I also know it can't hurt to have the eval. We've been working on sign language and she's picking that up like crazy.

We're going to be starting time-out to try to deter her hitting. Sage went through this phase too, but Sienna doesn't respond to the firm "NO". Instead she cries and then hits me in the face.

She started daycare again on Monday and had two excellent drop-offs with no tears or complaints. Today, however, she started bawling...and my heart broke.

I really wish I had a way to upload videos so that I could share her dancing skills. It's absolutely amazing, the rhythm and moves this child has. It totally cracks me up.

I trimmed her bangs the other day so she has officially had her first haircut. Last night she was trying to imitate Sage and started doing somersaults. Pretty impressive if you ask me. She's getting so good with jumping and can get a couple inches off the ground with both feet at the same time. She loves to color with Sage's crayons. So much so, that we've had crayon on several walls, the table, a door and most recently, all over Sage's carpet.

She's getting to be more of a picky eater, though still loves her veggies. I just wish I could get some meat into her.

She discovered planes recently and will screech in delight when one flies overhead. It's crazy how excited she gets over them. Maybe she'll be a pilot.

She and Sage have started to get into little arguments. She'll come running to wherever I am and babble for several minutes all the while pointing in the direction to where Sage is. She's obviously telling on Sage for something. Or, Sage will come to me and complain that "Sienna won't share." It's rather cute...for the time being anyway.

I'm sure I could update with more but I'll leave it at that for now.

sitting in her chair

we have this little foot stool that she carries around EVERYWHERE so that she can use it to reach things she wants or to get on things she's not supposed to. Here she's trying to get into the kitchen sink

this is how she looks during one of her many tantrums. luckily they don't last long and ignoring is extremely effective with her. terrible two's are starting early I believe.

eatting dinner and laughing at something that Sage is saying or doing. She thinks her sister is the funniest thing ever.

First Day of Kindergarten

2009-08-22T20:10:00.000-07:00

Sage all ready to go to her first day of school in her new dress and shoes that grandma bought her. Doesn't she look happy and excited? She woke up saying "I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait" and came out of her room with a huge smile on her face.

We went to Back-to-School Night a few nights before and dropped off ALL her 3,000 school supplies and looked around her classroom. It was all set up and ready for the kids. They each had name tags at their table so she knew who she was going to sit next to (she was happy to see that she would be sitting next to a girl name Jaeden and then a boy on the other side. Well, Jaeden turned out to be a boy). They had the months of the year displayed on one wall, under which was each child's birthday. There was somebody with a birthday on Sept 4th and then Sage on Sept 14th. There was no one listed under October, which means that Sage is the youngest in the class.

With her backpack on. I just can't believe how old and grown up she looks.

Leaving the house:

Showing off her book bag. Princesses of course. She also has a princess lunch box, princess ice packs, princess water bottle, princess sandwich box thingy, and even princess raisins. Oh, and in case I haven't mentioned it before, she sometimes refers to herself as "Princess Sage."

On the way to school. Can you tell she's still in a 5 point harness? She REALLY wants to move to a booster seat, but she's right on the 40 pound (more like 38 or 39) mark so I'm trying my hardest to keep her in the carseat for as long as I possibly can.

Making friends already. Actually they weren't talking or even looking at each other. It just looks like they are. But, speaking of friends, she has made one good friend already. Her name is Morgan and she's at the very right in the next picture-the one with the same backpack as Sage. It was cute, they not only had the same backpack but the same barrettes in their hair as well. When I picked Sage up from school she ran back and gave Morgan a hug and Morgan looked a little surprised so Sage and I had a little talk about hugging people you've only known for one day, personal space, etc. I explained that not everyone likes to be hugged and she needs to at least ask for hug before just doing it. She came home from school the next day all excited that"Morgan likes hugs too."

This was right after she asked me for a hug and whispered in my ear "I'm scared". (She's squinting because the sun is in her eyes). That's when I thought I was going to lose it but somehow fought off the tears. But she did amazing well and didn't cry at all...at least not on the first day. The second day was another story. We'll see how she does on the third day:

The whole school says the Pledge of Allegiance together on the first day of each week. They also had any kid whose birthday was that week come to the front and they were presented with...something...and everyone sang Happy Birthday. Sage is going to hate that next month. And her birthday is on a Monday which is going to be even worse since the kids whose actual birthday it was got a little extra recognition. We might have to come late on her birthday because seriously, she would be in tears if she had to stand in front of the whole school and have them sing to her. She wouldn't even let Drew and I sing to her last year and she's already said that no one is singing to her this year. I thought it was a cool little ceremony though:

Disney (better late than never)

2009-08-18T08:57:00.000-07:00

The cousins:

Sage swimming at the resort:

Chillin by the pool:

Lunch with the princesses. This was definitely the highlight of the trip (other than seeing family of course). Seeing Sage's eyes light up was priceless:

Playing in the shark near the Nemo ride at Epcot:

The castle:

Waiting in line (the first time) at It's a Small World. It was just as amazing as I remember from my childhood:

On the carousel (the first time) with grandpa:

In Minnie's house:

Sage in her new princess gear:

We went back to Disney at night for the fireworks and parade:

Playing in Poo's village:

17 months

2009-07-25T17:43:00.001-07:00

her hair is a little greasy as I totally forgot to take pictures earlier in the day and we all got a little hot and sweaty playing today.

She's laughing at Sage here:

I just love the look on her face:

With her foot stuck in the potty we just got out today:

She looks so sweet and innocent (looks can be deceiving):

An almost smile for the camera:

Just some random things

2009-07-14T12:58:00.000-07:00

Sienna's 10th tooth (4th molar) has popped through.

The weaning was going well, until she got sick and wanted to nurse constantly, now the milk supply is abundant.

She's still not saying many full words, but is able to communicate her needs in other ways. She'll say the beginning sounds of a word ("ba" for ball, or "do" for dog) but won't put the ending sound on the word. I'm convinced she'll need speech therapy.

She's giving unsolicited kisses now. It's so cute and melts my heart. She'll walk around with her mouth all puckered up and just wait for someone to plant a kiss. Going on walks to the park takes forever though, since she wants to kiss every flower we pass.

Speaking of the park, she learned how to go down the big girl slide all by herself. Scares the crap out of me. I stand behind her as she's walking up the stairs and then have to run down the stairs to the bottom of the slide to catch her. I'm a little paranoid around parks ever since Sage hit her head and passed out in my arms.

Sage just learned yesterday to do the monkey bars all by herself. I'm as proud of her as she is of herself. She might be ready for kindergarden yet (kidding-she's more than ready).

Sage started the 2nd session of ballet and loves being a "real ballerina". I can't wait for the recital in August.

The other day I was looking at some pictures of a fellow mommy that got a boob job. She was wearing a bathing suit in the pictures, but still. Sage accidentally saw them and was like "wow, Mom. Can you make your boobies do that?" I wish.

And tomorrow we're off to Disney World. As long as we survive the flight with the little monster who absolutely hates being confined and has no opposition to letting the gods know of her disapproval, I think we'll have a good time. Though I must say that I am extremely disappointed that my FIL is no longer going to come visit us, even though we'll be only an hour away from him. Perhaps we didn't tell him that the ONLY reason we decided to come to Florida during the hottest month of the year was because it is his 60th birthday. But, since he won't have us all to himself, he'd rather not see us at all. Makes sense to me.

Toofer 7, 8, 9

2009-06-29T11:46:00.000-07:00

It's been almost 4 months since any new teeth have made their appearance... or so I thought. I've been watching closely to the areas next to her existing teeth for the next ones to arrive. On several occasions, I thought for sure she must be cutting a tooth due to her drooling, constant sucking on things, fussiness, etc. So, when I stuck my finger into the back of her mouth this weekend and felt a little molar, I was pretty shocked. So, I checked the other sides, and sure enough, I felt 2 more molars. It never occurred to me that her teeth might come in out of order, or at least out of what I thought was the proper order for teeth to arrive. No wonder she's been able to eat increasingly hard and chewy foods. The little kiddo is slowly getting a mouthful.

And I can't resist to tell this humorous story about Sage. We were having some quality "girl time" yesterday as we went on a shopping spree at Old Navy. As I was looking at some clothes, she's standing over to the side admiring herself in a mirror, as she so often does. She's posing, and turning, and making faces at herself when I hear her say: "I'm so sexy." I said "YOU'RE SO WHAT? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" and she whispered "sexy." Believe me, I made sure she'll never use that word again for at least another 15 years. But, it was quite funny.

Happy 16 months Sienna

2009-06-25T19:04:00.001-07:00

Weaning

2009-06-14T13:21:00.000-07:00

I've begun the slow process of weaning Sienna. I'm just not producing as much milk as before. I'm hoping to drag it out for at least a month, that way I can still nurse her on our plane ride next month. If we make it until then, we will have accomplished 17 months of nursing. I was striving to make it to 18 months, but I'll take 17.

In other more interesting weaning news, I took Sage to her future school yesterday and I was watching her as she was playing on the playground. She'd stop to fidget with her undies, pick her nose without thinking twice, and eventually, began running around holding her crotch in attempt to not have to interrupt her playing for a potty break. I started thinking about her starting kindergarden, how she's going to fit in with the other kids, how the older kids might make fun of her, and I realized just how much we need to work on this summer before I ship her off to school. I still wipe her poopy butt, for God's sake. I still tell her to "be careful" 13 thousand times a minute, still remind her to use her napkin when she's eating, still kiss her boo-boos. What is she going to do without me? How is she going to survive this whole kindergarten thing? Who is going to take care of her and coddle her like a baby? I know, I know, it's time to cut the cord, and allow my 4 year old to....ghasp....grow up. I know she'll survive and I know she'll thrive (with a little prep work this summer), now if I can only convince myself that I'll survive. I guess I'm the one that needs some weaning.

What's new with Sage?

2009-06-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

Oh, Sagey poo. She's seriously one crazy little lady. Her sense of humor totally cracks me up. We'll be in the middle of a semi-serious conversation and she'll suddenly start "cackling" like a duck just to lighten the mood.

When it's time for me to say good-bye, whether in person or on the phone, we have this 5 minute back and forth about how much we love each other. She'll say: "I love you as much as a mountain" or "I love you a million, gazillion, catrillion" and my favorite was "I love you almost as much as I love carebears" though I'm happy to report that within the past week it has changed to "I love you even more than I love carebears." I'm glad I'm moving up the love ladder :)

She finished pre-k last month and had a little graduation ceremony. They sang several songs that they had learned all year and even performed "God Bless America" in sign language. It's amazing to see how much she's changed in the past year. She can read and write several words including "Sage, mom, dad, cat, dog, love and Sienna". We're working on our last name, address, and telephone number. Most impressive to me, is how social she has become. She is seriously loved and adored by everyone who meets her. All the little kids want to be her friends and she's even come home talking about a little boy that wants to be her boyfriend (ACK!-no way in hell).

She started ballet last week and I think she's a natural. She's so graceful on her feet and so enthusiastic to learn. She came home practicing her new skills and was so excited that she's "a real ballerina now." Besides being a ballerina, she's also a princess. Seriously. She'll even tell you that you can either call her "Sage or Princess Sage." And Lord knows she acts like a princess. She'll only wear dresses these days, and almost always changes about 5-10 times a day. Yesterday on my way home I was asking her about her day and what she had done: "I played dress up. I changed my clothes. Then I changed again. And again. And again. Oh, mom, then I changed again." And Sage the Princess is super excited about getting to meet some real princesses at Disney next month. But, I must say that I'm a little nervous about taking the little monster (Sienna that is) on a plane.

Hm, what else? Oh yes, church. Did I already write about this? Sage and I have been attending church every week since the beginning of the year and the discussions that have resulted are amazing. I think I need to talk to my dad or at least pull out my bible and give myself a little refresher course. I never knew a youngster could come up with such adult questions (Why did Jesus die on the cross? How does God know who I am? How come I can't see God? What color is God? Why is God a man and not a woman? What is heaven going to be like?). May not sound too complicated but each question is followed by about 15 more questions to which I have no answers. They should really have a hotline for parents to call when they can't seem to conjure up a good response to their kids' questions.

I'm sure there's plenty more updates I could relay, but considering I've started this post about 15 times and never completed it, I should probably hit "publish now" and call it a day :)

A sweet Sage story

2009-05-28T08:11:00.000-07:00

Preface: Sage is totally addicted to carebears. She's got at least 65 of the things and they are her prized possession.
The other evening I was called to an ER to evaluate a little 10 year who was suicidal/homocidal. I was telling Sage bye and here's how our conversations went:
Sage: "Why do you have to go?"
me: "Because there's a little kid that needs my help?"
Sage: "Why do they need your help?"
me: "I'm not sure. I'll find out when I get there."
Sage: "Is the kid a boy or a girl?"
me: "a girl"
Sage: "What's her name?"
me: "Sally" (not her real name)
Sage: "okay well hang on" and she runs off. A minute later she returns with one of her carebears
Sage: "Give this to Sally. It will make her feel better. She will be less sad and less frustrated"

15 months old

2009-05-27T07:24:00.001-07:00

What's new with the baby?

2009-05-15T13:22:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to write some new posts with updates on the girls but I keep putting it off since I don't have access to pictures at work, and when I'm at home I don't want to waste that much time on the computer. Basically, I've been making excuses, so here goes:

Sienna is coming up on her 15 month birthday. She has a total of 6 teeth (no new ones since right after her 1 year birthday), she is walking and running like a pro and just the other day started spinning in circles (imitating her big sister as she twirls in her dresses). She LOVES to climb on every and any thing. Yesterday I heard her giggling to herself and when I walked in the room she was standing on top of Sage's sit-and-ride toy (which has wheels obviously, and could have very easily have gone flying out from under her). When I saw her and ghasped out loud as I jumped to her rescue, she just giggled some more. She is such a little stinker and purposely does things she knows she's not supposed to. For example, she loves to stand on her little recliner chair but as soon as I shoot her "the look" she sits down real quick, only to stand right back up as soon as I'm not looking. A couple weeks ago, she fell right off that chair while standing on it, getting lodged, upside down with her feet straight in the air, between the chair and a box of toys beside it. She whined a bit and then stood right back up on the chair. She's one tough cookie. She fell the other day while outside playing and jumped right back up. A little bit later I realized that her finger was bleeding pretty good. Sage said "If I had that boo boo I definitely would have cried." But not the baby.

She's doing really well her eating of solids and I'm hoping she's gone up a little bit on the growth chart. We'll find out on the 27th when she goes in for her 15 month appt. I know she'll always be little (lucky genetics that we have) but the Dr got me all paranoid about her growth curve. She's still breastfeeding like a champ and I don't see that ending any time soon, despite all the experts in her life that keep saying "oh, I think she's ready to wean." I think I'll be the judge of that, thank you very much.

We had her dedicated at church on Mother's Day and it was very special for all of us. Our pastor described her as "very colorful"; and oh how right he is. That reframing has really helped me deal with some of her temper tantrums and other 'not-so-perfect' moments. She definitely has a personality on her and she's not afraid to let me, or anyone else for that matter, know exactly what's on her mind.

Her vocabulary is coming along, albeit a little slowly. She comprehends almost everything we say and will shake her head "no" and "yes" in response to questions and is able to articulate her needs with pointing, grunts and growls, but she really only has a few words (peek-boo, mama, dada, bath, kitkat, baby, and Drew swears she said hi the other day). I'll be talking to her pediatrician about that as well. She's probably right on task, but I unintentionally compare her to Sage who did everything way early. Bad mommy, I know. Each child is different.

Oh, what else? She absolutely positively adores her big sister. She'll follow Sage around, wants to snuggle in bed with her, wants to wear her clothes, and play with her toys. It's so incredibly cool to watch the bond between them. I think they're both so lucky to have each other and I look forward to watching them grow older together.

Okay, enough for now. I'm really going to try to write more specific posts about what the girls are doing and how they're changing. I want to be able to print these posts one day and add them to their baby books.

Pictures and a post on big sis is to follow...

14 months

2009-04-25T14:57:00.000-07:00

13 months (a little late)

2009-03-28T07:54:00.001-07:00

Since her first birthday, a lot has happened. She has taken her first step (and is now up to 8 steps), has said her first official word ("kit cat") and now has added several more ("yum, yum", "dog", "boo" in addition to "mama" and "dada" which she has been saying for quite a while). She also got her bedroom painted a cool greenish color and new bedding for her crib. We're looking for a new dresser (finding cherry wood is hard) and then I can figure out where everything is going to go and then I'll be able to take some pictures. She (and Sage) got to stay home with grandma for the past month instead of going to daycare, which was extremely special for them and definitely helped us out as well. Thanks grandma! we love you and miss you already!

Happy First Birthday baby girl!!

2009-03-06T09:18:00.000-08:00

Sienna had her big first birthday bash on 2/25. Unfortunately she was really really sick with Roseola and was basically miserable all day long. She slept a lot, opened some cool presents, and experimented with her first cupcake. She seemed to like the icing but never even tried the cake part. I don't think she realizes what she missed. She really didn't have an appetite though so I wasn't surprised that she didn't dig in.
She also went to the Dr on her birthday and got poked and prodded and screamed her little head off (mean mommy, though I did decline the shots so it could have been worse). She weighs 18 pounds 8 ounces (10%), is 30 inches long (75%) and her head is at 75% as well. So, she's basically going to be a super smart super model :)

Her third tooth also popped through on her birthday, which only added to her misery.
I'm telling ya, the girl was in absolute agony all day long. I felt so bad for her. But, she is all better now and back to her little happy go lucky self, though I think she's on the brink of full fledged temper tantrums. Do they really start this early?

Toofer #2

2009-02-06T12:08:00.000-08:00

Sienna has learned to sing so the last couple nights and mornings, she'll wake up happy and singing her own little tune. This morning, she was a little fussy and clingy and I knew she wasn't feeling 100%. Soon she opened her mouth wide enough for me to get a good glimpse of her second little tooth coming in right beside the first one. So cute. (As long as she doesn't use them while nursing.)

...and I haven't been updating as much as I would like because things are crazy busy. Drew started training for his new job this week which means that he is gone in the evenings as well as all day long. By the time the girls are alseep, I'm pooped and usually go to bed myself. I think I'm getting a little taste of what single moms must feel like and it sucks! In addition, we decided that I have to go back to work full time in order to keep the girls insured (as well as ourselves) so I've been frantically looking for a job. I actually had an interview this morning and was asked to come back for a second interview. I have mixed emotions about the position and will try to find some time to post the details of my concerns.

...and we have a big birthday coming up and we want to get her room painted and redecorated before then, so that should keep us busy.

...and my wonderful MIL is coming in for the big day, and anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I will be spending way too much time and energy cleaning, scrubbing, scraping, dusting, vacuuming, organizing, etc.

While I'm at it...

2009-01-25T14:48:00.000-08:00

I just love, love, love watching the bond between the girls get stronger on a daily basis. Not that it was ever anything but strong. But, now that Sienna is getting older, they play together, laugh together and even cry together. Sienna follows Sage around and Sage is always careful to make sure that Sienna is getting her needs met. I really couldn't have asked for a better big sister in Sage.

Not only is Sage caring, loving, and tender, she's also absolutely beautiful, though I'm just a little bit biased:

Happy 11 months big girl

2009-01-25T14:38:00.001-08:00

(and her first bow)

First time skiing

2009-01-25T14:19:00.001-08:00

We took Sage skiing last weekend for the first time and she absolutely loved it, though I don't think she thought it would be as tiring as it was. And, honestly, neither did I. I ended up carrying her, along with her equipment, halfway across the resort and back to where Drew and Sienna were hanging it. Next time, we'll park a little closer to where the bunny slopes are. And next time, we may just get her some lessons. I don't think I have the patience to teach her all the techniques. Either way, there will definitely be a next time, and hopefully soon.

Vaccinations suck!

2009-01-14T14:28:00.000-08:00

Sienna got two shots yesterday, one in each leg and my poor baby is so sore that it's hard for her to "walk" which frustrated her to no end because she loves to "walk" around the house for hours on end.
Unfortunately, I hadn't educated myself and didn't do my research on vaccines when Sage was a baby, so she was completely vaccinated according to the CDC recommendations (therefore exposed to way too many additives, preservatives, and other chemicals at once). I knew that the recommendations were for her to return at age 5 to get another shot or two, but she's barely 4. So, after being completely surprised that it is NOW time to register her for kindergarten next year (she barely meets the cut off deadline and will start kindergarten when she's still 4), I requested a copy of her immunization record yesterday while at the Dr with Sienna, and was appalled that she needed 4 shots before starting school! The nurse recommended that she get all 4 at once since it is so difficult to get someone her age to come into the office for shots, but there is no way that I'm exposing her to all of that at once, knowing what I know now, even if her body is bigger and able to handle more than when she was a baby. And, I'm really wondering if it's worth getting the shots at all. She's already had several polio vaccines, is one more really going to make a difference. And the chicken pox vaccine...well that's just a joke. Luckily, I have some very smart friends who informed me that in Colorado, we as parents are able to opt out of vaccinations simply for "personal reasons". So, for now, I'll complete that exemption form and take my time so that I can make an informed decision regarding the next round of vaccines.

Gerber Baby

2009-01-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

I can't tell you how many times we've heard: "She looks like a Gerber baby" or "She should be the next Gerber baby." Too bad she hates Gerber food. Anyway, here are a few of the many faces of our little gerber baby. And check out that cute little toofer.

serious face

showing off her first tooth

making a silly face at her sister

"oh, mommy, no more pictures"

contemplating life

kissie face

ice skating

2008-12-28T14:36:00.000-08:00

The weather was nice enough today that we were able to take the girls ice skating at the outdoor rink at the mall. It wasn't quite as warm as we hoped though and luckily I had a sweater in my trunk or I would have frozen (hence the hedious all brown attire that I'm wearing). I should have used it as a good excuse to buy a new jacket. Oh, well. I shouldn't complain as Drew was wearing shorts. But, here are a few shots of Sienna's first time on the ice and Sage's second. We had to basically drag Sage away in tears she loved it so much. And Sienna did as well. She kept saying "ohhhhhh" and than at one point started clapping. It was pretty darn cute.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T15:22:00.000-08:00

...and happy 10 months baby girl.

Florida

2008-12-22T13:25:00.001-08:00

(all these pictures uploaded backwards for some reason and sorry but I can't figure out how to rearrange them or how to cut and paste so that the picture actually correlates with the text)

We had a wonderful time in Florida. Both girls did excellently on the long plane rides and with adjusting to the new environment as well as being surrounded by unfamiliar people. Well, I guess they each had their moments but that was to be expected.

Baby Annaliese is absolutely adorable and already sleeping better than Sienna. My sister, Krista, and brother in law, Terry, are so comfortable with the whole parenting thing. They are just naturals.

We had a little Christmas party at my dad's house and Santa came to give out gifts to the kids. He was a little loud and scary at first, but the kids soon warmed up to him.

We took the girls to a few of my old favorite hang outs like Lake Ella and Quarter Moon as we enjoyed the 80 degree weather in the middle of winter.

We also took advantage of the weather and took some family pictures of the "kids" that we're going to give to our parents.

My mom and step dad took us out for fresh seafood and then we exchanged gifts with them. Sage was absolutely enamored with my mom, her "other grandma." She's only seen her a few times but she cried for her the whole way home saying "I want to live in Florida. I want my other grandma." Totally broke my heart. I miss them all so much already.

So Proud

2008-12-12T14:22:00.000-08:00

It's not often that I brag, but I am so proud of my family that I want to share:
Drew got into nursing school. He was notified this week and will start next month. While I'm so excited for him and the positive changes this will bring for our future, I can't help but to worry about how we'll pay our bills and what we're going to do about losing our health insurance. But for now, I'm very proud of my hubby.

Sage is doing excellent in school. She had her evaluation last week and was given all perfect scores. Her teacher said that she is surpassing all expectations and that she is "definitely" ready for kindergarten next year (her birthday is 15 days before the cutoff so we've been contemplating whether to wait a year). I asked if there was anything we needed to work on and she said "Nope. Keep doing exactly what you're doing."

At Sienna's 9 month appointment last week (or was it the week before?), the Dr was thoroughly impressed by her verbal skills (she wouldn't shut up), her ability to crawl over to him and pull to a standing on his legs in an attempt to get his stethoscope and her overall development. He even said "She's so cute she should do commercials."
Her 9 month stats were:
17 pounds 4 ounces (25%-50%)
27 1/4 inches (25%-50%)
I forget her head circumference but it's now the 75% :)

And me, well, I haven't done anything too worthwhile lately. Oh, I have joined Facebook and am reconnecting with lots of people that I haven't spoken to in ages. That counts for something, right?

And, first thing in the morning, we'll be on our way to Florida to meet my new little niece for the first time and to celebrate Christmas with a whole plethora of family members. I'm so excited!

Introducing Annaliese...and Go Gators!!

2008-11-29T09:45:00.000-08:00

Annaliese Ruth Schoen was welcomed to the world on 11/25/08 weighing 8 pounds, 2 ounces and was 20 1/4 inches long. She threw everyone for a loop, not only because she was 11 days late, but because everyone was 99.9 % convinced that she was a boy. I can't wait to meet you in 2 weeks, baby girl.

Today is the big rivalry between the University of Florida Gators and the Florida State Seminoles. Though I have degrees from both schools and essentially get to chose which school to root for, I'm a Gator 100%. Drew also went to both schools and usually roots for FSU, though today even he wants the Gators to win since we have a chance of going to the National Championships...again. So, GO GATORS!!! (and apparently we need to get Sienna some Gator apparel).

Sage is doing the Gator Chomp here

Happy 9 Months

2008-11-25T09:27:00.001-08:00

....and, my little sister JUST had her a baby (a little girl). I'll update later.

Waiting patiently...

2008-11-24T06:13:00.000-08:00

...for my new niece or nephew to be born.
My poor little sister is now 10 days overdue with her first child. Krista is the most beautiful pregnant woman ever. She's such a trooper too. I've hardly heard her complain and she's so happy and calm it blows my mind. She's got to be uncomfortable and going crazy with anticipation. She's got an appointment to start the induction tomorrow (Tues) night but we're all hoping that he/she decides to come without the needed assistance. So, little baby Schoen, we're all so ready to meet you. Please come on out and play.
And, here's a picture taken of Krista a couple weeks ago:

I love these shots

2008-11-18T13:36:00.000-08:00

Crazy Colorado Weather

2008-11-18T13:22:00.000-08:00

I don't know why, but these photos keep uploading in the wrong order, but there appears to be nothing I can do to fix the problem. So anyway, the bottom pictures were two were taken on Friday when the high was about 35 degrees and the top two were taken yesterday (three days later) when the high was about 70 degrees and we played outside at the park. And today is a high of 77...in the middle of November. It's crazy, I tell ya. I think we actually got a little sunburned during our picnic at the playground today. Gotta love the crazy Colorado weather. Tomorrow will probably be a high of -7 (not really).

Daycare Dilemmas

2008-11-12T13:23:00.001-08:00

I know I'm super picky with who watches the kids and I know that no one will take care of them as well as I do (sine I am their mommy and all) and I know that I am super paranoid due to my history of working child protection and the fact that Sage was viciously attacked by another kid at her old daycare:

(yes I made a child abuse (lack of supervision) report and they investigated and I immediately took her out of that daycare) But, I have some concerns with their current situation and I just don't know what to do. They are in a licensed home daycare and the provider has been caring for kids for 20+ years. Sage really likes her and has made lots of friends there, though they aren't necessarily good influences on her. I can handle that. The food served is far from healthy. I suppose I can handle that too. On any given day, there are way more kids than there are supposed to be. I guess I can handle that too. There is no structure to the day, no routines, and certainly no arts & crafts or educational activities provided. I've yet to see a baby toy, swing, high chair, crib, or anything else for Sienna. The part that has me the most worried, is that the provider takes all the older kids to and from school everyday. All day long. Several different schools, different times of the day. But, she also drops off and picks up Sage from preschool on Thursdays so I feel like a hypocrite even thinking that I don't like the fact that the girls are constantly on the road. The worst part of all the driving, is that Sienna hardly ever gets to take a real nap, if she takes one at all. Not to mention that she should actually be getting in two naps while she is there. She is so exhausted by the time I pick them up that she can barely stay awake through dinner and she certainly isn't a happy camper most of the time. I know there is no ideal situation, unless I'm caring for them myself, but I feel myself getting more and more frustrated and worrying more and more about them on a daily basis. I've been looking elsewhere, and to find someone in our area, that is affordable and willing to watch the girls part-time is no easy feat. I just have to keep telling myself that they are safe and loved and that until I can find a more suitable situation, they will be fine. I can convince myself of this, right?

Halloween fun

2008-11-02T07:34:00.000-08:00

Sage, Sienna and Summit's World

7 months old

Happy Thanksgiving

4 months

6months

Sage's 7th birthday

10 years....

First Day of Preschool

First Day of Second Grade

3 months!

back to work

2 months old

Fourth of July

Poor Sage

1 month

Baby Summit's Birth Story

Mother's Day 2011

Happy Easter

baby boy update

Happy Third Birthday Sienna

belated valentines day

another week

tooth #2

what a week

Finally!

First real haircut and first tap lesson

more conversations about the baby

a convo with my 2 year old

results of the Level II ultrasound

The big ultrasound

Merry Christmas

Busy time of year

First snow of the season

Halloween Fun

10-10-10

Pumpkin Patch

bowling party

Happy 6th Birthday Sage

I will always remember

my "highly sensitive" child

the rest of the week...

It's *only* Thursday

2 1/2 Years Old!!

First day of first grade

Last day of summer

First Dentist Appointment

Paranoia

Out of the mouths of babes

Sienna the ballerina

Congratulations Sage!

Happy Mother's Day

whats up?

Spring Break

A whole bunch of nothin

2 years old!!!

Sage's "surgery"

valentine's day

23 month

Merry Christmas (and happy 22 months to Sienna)

6 days till Christmas...

my silly girls

21 months

sometimes (okay, most of the time) it's hard to be a working mama

catching up

20 months!!

19 months

Child Find Eval

New Job

Happy 5th Birthday Princess Sage

18 months old

First Day of Kindergarten

Disney (better late than never)

17 months

Just some random things

Toofer 7, 8, 9

Happy 16 months Sienna

Weaning

What's new with Sage?

A sweet Sage story

15 months old

It's only Thursday